Posted by vwoolf on March 24, 2004, at 8:02:20
In reply to Re: Sexual obsession » vwoolf, posted by Karen_kay on March 23, 2004, at 18:37:52
Hi Karen_Kay
Thanks for your reply. I suppose I am a bit weird about sex as well.
I was sexually abused by my father as a small child, but had no recollection of it until recently. Now, looking back, I see that all the relationships in my life have been coloured by this, including present relationships. Sexually I have had a lot of experiences, which I now feel shame and guilt about - they also reflect the original abuse in no small way. I guess this is why I keep going over and over these experiences - I feel they are a sort of metaphor for my life as I have lived it until the present.
However I find it difficult to talk about these things to my T (female). I feel sure I must be embarrassing her with some of the quirkier bits, and I come home feeling humiliated and exhausted, and determined not to mention anything sexual at the next session. But I go right back to it the next time. My pdoc simply told me to stop it with the angry sexuality, which made me feel even more humiliated and ashamed. Aargh!
I'll ask my therapist tomorrow what she thinks about me obsessing about sex and let you know.
Virginia
> I used to spend quite a bit of time talking about sexual matters, even though I am somewhat "weird" about sex. I'd often ask my therapist person questions about sex as well.
>
> If you don't mind my asking, do you have sexual hang-ups? Or is there a reason that you focus on sex often? Do you use it as a distraction, instead of talking about things you should be discussing?
>
> For me personally, I talked about sex to normalize the feelings and thoughts I had aobut sex. In a way, I wanted to know that it was OK to feel the way I did about sex, and to in a sense, have permission to think about sex without feeling guilty. I wouldn't say that I had a sexual obsession, nor do I think that you do either. In fact, I learned in a Psychology of Sexual Behavior class that there is no such disorder (Yahoo!!!)... There's a reason you are talking about sex for the amount of time that you are, and the key is to find out why... That's the tricky part. Wish I could help out more..
>
> Part II... His reaction
>
> He knew why I was asking so many questions, so he validated my feelings and answered my questions. Some of my questions were inapropriate, but he still answered, which made me feel even better because it made me feel no shame about sex. He didn't flinch or shy away from the hard stuff. I have a lot of respect for him in that aspect.
>
> Perhaps you could bring this up and ask what your therapist thinks about you talking about sex often. I know, I know... It would suck. But, it would also be beneficial. There's a reason you are talking about it. The key is finding that reason.
poster:vwoolf
thread:327039
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040321/msgs/327661.html