Posted by 64Bowtie on March 18, 2004, at 12:10:23
In reply to Re: Dear diary (DBT) - Ilene, posted by Dinah on March 18, 2004, at 10:20:18
(((Dinah))), I'm not an expert on your therapy. It's your therapy. I am an expert on my recovery. Now, perhaps I still am toooo addicted to cheescake for my own good, but most of my problems have gone away. I keep telling myself there's not enough money in the world for me to buy cheescake. Of course I'm in trouble if they ever start giving it away for FREE!...lol
Over and over I hear reports of therapists did this and pdocs did that, and no recovery. I don't buy the arguement that when we get well, we suddenly get toooo busy to post. Dysfunction is like being a chicken being chased by a coyote. Busy, busy, busy! Many share at times that they feel the wolves are after them. Time is not an excuse. They just don't recover, at all, maybe.
Anyway, according to (((Karen Kay))), I don't use words from the known universe, so I want to say something new, again;...(just a warning).
What I hear here and always seemed to hear in 12 step meetings is that therapists approach clients as misguided children. Well, clients over 15yo are fully fledged genetically/biologically to be adults. There behaviors may be displaying childlike holdover tendancies, but they are better erquipped than children to handle conflict. (Conflicting dysfunctions are a real mess, aren't they. Picture two married dysfunctionals. See what I mean?)
No matter how mentally ill and how dysfunctional and how corrupted the spirit, adult attibutes do a better job of recovery than regressing to childhood limitations, don't you think?
I've seen children asked by the researcher if they can see the problem. They answer yes. When asked to describe the problem, the child doesn't see the problem at all, really. I call it the "monkey-effect"; the child "monkeys" a response so as not to do something wrong, or perhaps to receive the glory by answer as expected.
None of this makes the child-subject a bad child. It's just a common response in children, that some how gets into a research paper written up as, "The child-subject recognized the information and responded appropriately." Meanwhile there was nothing adultlike in the child's response.
Purpose: In a perfect world adult therapists would treat clients as adults with fully devloped skills to aid in permanently overcoming the afflictions of childhood displayed by their clients. We have grown-up skills that kids can't imagine, let alone "monkey". If we use those adult skills to manage our day-to-day lives, blocking dysfunctional habits at every turn, we can recover; we can get well.
I am living proof. I honor my adult skills by using them daily. I'm not saying I did it by myself. I read books till my eyes hurt. I paced around stewing over what advice I was given till it formed a pattern in the oriental carpet. I went to a couple of thousand meetings all over California. And helped David Peck formulate his theories, meeting with other folks that were in fact credentialled. It all contributed. It took the better part of 20 years my way. I sense there's a better way, yet.
I am still living proof. When I started honoring the adult skills I had, my life changed. Maybe I was really, really, really ready. I don't think that is the only way, to be so ready as I was. I sense that others might be smarter than me and can just "get it" without all the crap I went through.
I only wish great things for you.....
Rod
poster:64Bowtie
thread:325612
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040313/msgs/325658.html