Posted by Dinah on March 17, 2004, at 21:04:56
I may finally have a grip on what my therapist means when he says I have poor ego strength. Is he talking about emotional resilience?
When I saw him Tuesday morning I was a wreck. Having anxiety attacks and chest pains and a real upsurge in my OCD. Tearful. The weekend had been stressful and Monday was extra stressful.
Today after a relatively calm day (and a Risperdal yesterday afternoon) I'm feeling more centered.
And it occurs to me that I have very little resilience. Even after all this time in therapy.
If I have a number of stressors piling on me at once, I still fall apart. It may take a few more stressors now. Or I might not see things as stressors that I once saw that way. And it might not take me as long to pull myself together.
But I still have very little resilience. I'm still held together with spit and chewing gum. Not even duct tape. And I rely on those little Risperdal pills or my therapist as ego glue to keep me from falling apart.
I *do* think I'm able to observe the phenomenon more while it happens. And that's why I think I've come to understand what ego strength is. Because I've seen my ego crumbling so many times.
Where does a girl go to get some ego strength?
poster:Dinah
thread:325443
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040313/msgs/325443.html