Posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 21:07:32
In reply to Re: Of course it's about you, dear, posted by DaisyM on March 10, 2004, at 11:19:23
Sorry, trying not to overpost, so I figured I'd kill 2 birds with one stone.
Falls: Thank you! And yes, being honest and sincere without the added "ego stroke" was quite refreshing. I didn't have an agenda, for the first time in my life and it felt rather good to focus on me. It also felt good not to listen to him babble on forever and ever about himself. And I didn't even ask him any personal questions. Maybe this opens the door for honesty with no agenda on my part? I think it just has to do with my recent very good mood and the fact that this was my chance to be honest, as I don't plan on having to face him alone again. I tend to do that, bottle it up until the very last time I plan on seeing someone alone and just let it all go. But, somehow this didn't have any anger or bitterness to it. And for that I'm glad.
Daisy: You'd like to bottle my spirit, eh? I wish I could too, for those days when I don't always feel this great. But, I promise I'll send you your own special bottle, ok?
Oddly enough, it wasn't hard at all to be honest with him. Now I'm kinda kicking myself for not doing it sooner. On the upside, he said that everything I was honest and concerned about was a good thing, as it seemed to be distorted thinking on my part, which he thinks can be easily fixed. As in, at least I don't struggle with depression any longer, or anything that I can't control or that would be (too) hard to change.
And I only brought one brownie, I'd had enough of those buggers. He ate the brownie. I managed to consume half of a muffin, and at 8 am no less. That's a good thing for me.
Another positive thing, we talked aobut my BPD dx and he said that he too noticed that I don't exhibit as many traits any longer. Yes, I'm still very impulsive but that's really about it. I can't make the dx disappear, but I'm comfortable knowing that he agrees I don't exhibit as many traits any longer. Talk about improvements guys. How oculd I not be in a great mood? And this whole time I thought I was getting worse. Go figure.
To both of you: Thank you so much for keeping me company and being so supportive this last week. I appreciate it. I love you both you know.
poster:Karen_kay
thread:322814
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040308/msgs/323089.html