Posted by Dr. Bob on February 28, 2004, at 16:05:38
In reply to Re: Ms. Schmidt: Question answer this one!!, posted by Racer on February 25, 2004, at 20:17:11
Yes, fantasies are fine, and all people have them. By and large, they should be addressed in the course of therapy, especially important or persistent ones.
Unfortunately, simple rules are hard to come by. But I can say unequivocally that personal relationships and sexual relationships are not acceptable in the course of therapy. They represent ethical violations, often legal violations, and are destructive to therapy. In regard to relationships that develop after therapy has ended, again one has to be very careful. For the client, the therapy relationship probably always contains aspects of the transference expectations and longings which can easily be reactivated later, in which case it may be exploitive of the client's feelings. It also does not preserve the possibility for resuming therapy at a later date if the need should arise.
Now, this does not mean that all personal interactions are boundary violations. For example, it happens that one might attend the same party as one's therapist, or meet in some kind of social situation. These kinds of encounters may be the source of discomfort or anxiety and can be discussed.
Some boundary violations are more properly considered boundary "crossings" which are not necessarily of harmful proportions but may represent an exception to the general framework of the therapy situation. Distinguishing between violations and crossings, what's harmful and what's not, can be confusing. One should listen to one's feelings about it and use consultation if necessary to sort it out.
Erika Schmidt, LCSW
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:316851
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040225/msgs/318578.html