Posted by fallsfall on February 25, 2004, at 10:15:20
In reply to termination and wanting to stay unhappy, posted by QuietHeart on February 24, 2004, at 23:32:19
I can certainly relate.
But I have to wonder, if I *want* so badly to stay in this theraputic relationship because it is "so comforting", then maybe I have a *need* for that kind of "comfort" that I'm not finding elsewhere in my life. Discussions with my therapist about this "need" (dependency, the void in my life, the black hole, craving comfort) ARE the critical part of my therapy.
It is hard to talk about honestly with one's therapist - will they back away as you try to move closer? Will they think that you are asking too much? Will you overwhelm them? Will they reject you? Will they push back?
I hope that you have enough trust with your therapist to at least start to talk about it. I've been with my current therapist 8 months (and when I arrived he knew that I had a dependency problem with my previous therapist). I do trust him to be strong and do the right thing, but I still ask myself those questions. I am also fearful of exploring the area myself because everytime I look at it, it gets deeper and I am afraid to see the real magnitude of the issue. But, every session, I take a deep breath and take it farther than I did the session before. The only reason I can do this is because my need to have this issue "resolved" (addressed, worked on) is so compelling (i.e. my pain is so great) and I know that I can't "fix" it by myself.
You are certainly not the only one who feels the way you do. A year ago we had a wonderfully comforting thread that was titled "Forever Therapy". Even though I would like Forever Therapy, I know that if my therapy is successful that I won't *need* Forever Therapy. But at that point, I will be happy to leave therapy. I know I still have issues to work on because today, I still want Forever Therapy.
Do start talking about this with your therapist.
poster:fallsfall
thread:317376
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040225/msgs/317497.html