Posted by fallsfall on February 19, 2004, at 19:03:39
In reply to so unhappy and so tired of it all, posted by terrics on February 19, 2004, at 16:20:31
Terrics,
Are you sure that your pdoc meant for you to hear that you will never function normally? Or is that what you interpretted what she said to mean?
It does sound like things are really painful for you. I can really relate to being afraid to go home - when I left the hospital (1 1/2 years ago) I was terrified to go home. I was afraid that the things that had put me in the hospital would still be there, and I wasn't sure that I could deal with them yet.
You might want to try a variation of what I did to get back home. When I left the hospital, I went and stayed at a friend's for a few days (she lives 30 minutes away). During those days I came back to my house - with company - for increasing amounts of time (I think the first time I went back all I did was pick up my car). There was someone staying at my house to take care of my dogs. So I could be there as much or as little as I wanted. I trusted myself more during the day, so it was a while before I slept there. Each time I spent a little time at my house I got more confident that I could handle it, and that was why I could increase the amount of time that I spent there. I also started feeling OK to go there by myself.
The first night I slept at home I was pretty scared, but the dog sitter agreed to stay an extra couple of days, so she was there in the middle of the night - if I had needed her (which I didn't). I felt much better not being alone in the house.
Based on how I have felt in the past, if I were in your situation, I would be MORE depressed because I "couldn't" go home. Do you have a friend who would be willing to help you, very gradually, get back to your own house and your own life? I know it sounds scary, but it seems to me that continuing as you are is pretty scary, too.
I don't know if this will help you or not - if it is completely terrifying to even thing of walking into your house, then don't try it now! Only do what you can handle.
Best of luck.
poster:fallsfall
thread:315772
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040218/msgs/315840.html