Posted by Crooked Heart on February 17, 2004, at 15:36:39
In reply to shame, posted by shortelise on February 16, 2004, at 13:21:25
I felt the same about my Dad's punishment, and no I wouldn't even write about here either. When I was much much older I felt angry about the shame too, because I could see perfectly well that *I* had nothing to be ashamed about.
When I began therapy I thought I would never tell my therapist about it. But actually it was only about two or three months in. I'd said that I had a shameful secret which was that my father hated me. My therapist made some comment later about my *feeling* that I was hated. That really annoyed me although I didn't say so, and next session I spilled the beans. And the session after that I found out what she thought about it, and a load spilled off my back that I hadn't known I was carrying.
It's odd though, or maybe not at all, that I knew how my Dad behaved was wrong and felt angry about it, but it wasn't until my first child was born, with two parents who loved him, that I felt utter livid fury with my Dad. And I feel it again, for you, reading your post.
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> I feel shame about what my Dad did to me, really disrespectful physical punishment, not sexual (at least not overtly) and I have never been able, nor will I ever be able, to tell my shrink about it. My shame is so deep. I know it's absurd, but the idea of telling anyone is too much.
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> I can't even write it.
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> ShortE
poster:Crooked Heart
thread:313858
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040211/msgs/314776.html