Posted by Elle2021 on February 14, 2004, at 2:09:34
In reply to ((Elle))Chicken soup, lots of tissue, jello, PBJ (nm), posted by gardenergirl on February 13, 2004, at 7:30:09
I'm still sick. Today was probably the worst of it, so I know (hope and pray) that the next few days will be spent recovering. I think I've just about coughed my lungs up. :) My nose hurts too! All dry from blowing it too often.
I had another arugemnt with my mother today over my therapy visits. She agreed to pay for one session a month. I hate to sound ungrateful, but that is still not enough. I guess it's better than nothing though. Still makes me sad.
I'm depressed over my depression. Especially over the fact that I have tried a variety of medications (SSRI's, trycilics, anti-psy, benzos, etc), and nothing helps. I've been like this for six years. Does anyone know if Dysthmia ever cures itself? It upsets me that even when good things happen, I still don't feel happy. It makes me feel like I'm ungrateful and undeserving altogether, and I really hate feeling that way.
I'm irritated with myself because I'm attracted to not-so-healthy guys. If there's a bad one in the bunch, I'll go straight for him... ugh. But before that, before I even say one word to him, I will idealize him in my head until I have myself believing he is close to perfect. And that is just setting myself up for disappointment, but I do it constantly.
Anyway, thanks for reading. Any advice, support is welcome...
Elle
poster:Elle2021
thread:311528
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040211/msgs/313119.html