Posted by fallsfall on January 28, 2004, at 7:37:07
A woman came into the library last night. I haven't seen her in years. She set off a set of memories. Lots of memories - back to when I was less than 2. So many things fit now. I know why I think I'm bad, and why I'm afraid of abandonment. I know why my dog is so comforting. I know why I always want to be the favorite. I know why, when I was sick at night when I was little, I wouldn't call out loudly enough for my mother to hear. I know many ways that my first therapist repeated events from when I was little.
My therapist is out of the office today. I paged him and talked to him on the phone this morning. I will see him tomorrow at 3. That is my time and he will be there. I wrote down notes about the memories. They are "put away" on the paper. I need to do things for the next 30 hours that don't include rehashing this over and over. I may not come back to Babble until after my appointment (i.e. Friday?).
I am safe and my therapist is "here".
poster:fallsfall
thread:306333
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/306333.html