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therapist appt » Elle2021

Posted by badhaircut on January 23, 2004, at 13:51:22

In reply to Badhaircut, Gardengirl, Fallsfall, posted by Elle2021 on January 23, 2004, at 12:04:08

> I have an app. with my therapist today, maybe she can help. I don't know.

I'll be interested to know what she says, if you can share.

It sounds like you're at a quarter-system school. I went to one, too. It does mean that there's fewer weeks that you have to hang on before you can lock away credit for a class, but those 10-week courses can really pile the work on thick.

Some general advice from me to depressed college students (not necessarily applying to you) would be:

1. Dropping out, even more than once, is NOT the end of the world. It is not shameful, weak or evil, even if significant people disapprove of it. It does not have to be permanent. Many prominent, successful professionals dropped out and returned to school. (I used to have a list! I'll look for it.) If someone drops out, they can look at it as a proactive strategy, not a defeat.

2. That said, I believe it is usually better (not always, but usually) to stay in school. We all do better when we keep active. Momentum is easier to maintain than to achieve (that's why it's momentum). Like Woody Allen says, 90% of life is just showing up.

It sounds like you're committed to staying in and want tips on how. The main one I would offer to myself back then is, "Lower your standards."

I think it's often better to lower one's standards than to take a lighter load. (Wow, that's an over-general statement!) You don't have to be a perfectionist to benefit from *hypothetically* lowering performance pressures. I think I would've been more productive if I'd given myself permission to do what I thought would be crappy, half-*ss work, but turn it in. It's amazing that as soon as someone can say, "I may be a lousy student (or a rotten person or whatever), but I can still go to class this morning," they can often feel a lot better and do better work.

Just personal observations. Like fallsfall said, I may be all wet, too.

-bhc


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