Posted by DaisyM on January 10, 2004, at 19:41:57
In reply to Re: bad session - is it me?, posted by Raindancer on January 10, 2004, at 12:52:13
I've read all that you wrote and I'd definately say it isn't you, just the timing and the ending. If therapy has become central in your life, this leaves a big gap -- distance physically as well as emotionally. I'm still at the beginning stages but I think when we are ending we don't want to open up any new issues and the issue IS the ending, so how do you get past that? I've seen is suggested here that you fill up the time with other self-care activities, don't just let it absorb back into the life void. Set up a routine to do something nice for yourself. You must have made good progress for your Therapist to be comfortable with this arrangement. Support is available from lots of places, not just in session.
I think what you said about seeing him as super-human makes total sense. Isn't that what we have essentially asked them to be? Sit there and listen and care, not criticize or have a bad day or be distracted or any of a hundred other things our family and friends do to us when we are talking to them? This is pretty superhuman and most of them do it pretty well. But knowing it isn't quite real does allow us to emotionally distance when we need to. Aren't most super hero's single, after all?
That said, I feel for you. It is one of my biggest worries - allowing someone else to know the intimate details of my life, past and present, to hear how selfish I am, how childish about some things, how arrogant, stubborn and ultimately, scared about what I have to face (my husband's illness)-- and then have them be "all done." I question this a lot with my Therapist. He just says, "yes, eventually there is an ending. And it is sad. And it is great, because you will be ready. And I might not be, because it is hard to let go of clients you care about but it is the right thing to do."
I think it is great that you have a way to maintain contact. Writing is one of my favorite activities so that would be perfect for me.
I'd love to know what you choose to do in place of therapy for awhile. Can you post it? And keep writing here. I hope just talking about how sad you are helps. It does for me.
poster:DaisyM
thread:298748
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/299143.html