Posted by Karen_kay on December 30, 2003, at 9:15:20
In reply to I'm lost, posted by DaisyM on December 29, 2003, at 22:35:38
> I truly don't get this dependency thing.
<<<Me neither!!! What do they want??
I don't want to need my Therapist but when we have really intense sessions (like today) I just don't want to talk to anyone else about the after-effects.
<<<I think I am similar to you. I don't want to need my therapist. But, that's why I'm not getting as much done as I'd like. And that's why I find him less than supportive. And that's why I don't open up like he'd like me to. I should tell him this, but he is the therapist and he should pickup on this if he is as good as he thinks he is, RIGHT? And he knows that I have a habit of becoming needy (who, me??) and maybe that's why he doesn't return my phone calls?? Or maybe he's lazy, or worthless? Or doesn't check his messages? Or hates me? Or doesn't think I'm important? Damn it, I feel like he's my stupid boyfriend, only I could care less if my boyfriend doesn't call back.
I think I need therapy to process therapy! But, I know this isn't healthy either. I keep thinking I should figure this out better.<<<Personally, I think I tend to annoy my therapist because I overanalyze our sessions. And I only try to figure out the stupid things we talk about. I'll go into great detail about "the long pause", or the "funny look you gave me" when I said I prefer cashews to pistashios and I can talk about this type of analysis for another whole session. Maybe this is why he doesn't call me back. In fact, I don't think I'd call me back either. While I tend to have some fun sessions and he does get to see the real me (he actually said I seem to be the type of person he'd hang out with in "real life" [is that a compliment?]) I'm not getting anywhere in therapy. But, then again, I am the Queen of Denial and Distraction :)
<<<Try journaling what your session was aobut and your feelings around that session. Then have fun conversations like these in your mind. The kind that most people don't actually have with their therapists. Try not to think aoubt things too much when he's not readily available to you.
>
> To make matters worse, he's gone now until next Monday - but available by phone. I feel sort of abandoned, I can't help it, even though I *rationally* know it is a Holiday weekend. :(
<<<Try to hold on to him by having conversations with himin our head. And feel free to call in an emergency.
> I don't know whether I feel worse about the content of today's session or about the fact that he's gone.I'd say both equally.
> I need suggestions, survival stories, and chocolate. In any order.
<<<I use pacifiers still and I still suck my thumb. It works. I look silly, but it helps. It started whem my dentist jumped my butt because my back teeth were wore down from grinding them so much. And you can only smoke so much and chew so much gum, sugarless, of course.
poster:Karen_kay
thread:294529
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031221/msgs/294628.html