Posted by DaisyM on December 16, 2003, at 0:47:59
Today was so much better than last week but of course we had to talk about why I got so worried last week about being too negative, too demanding and/or too needy. I tried to explain it like this: if I have a medical condition and the MD tells me I need to do this or that to feel better, I do it. I do it because i have a responsibility to take care of myself so I can take care of all these other people who need me.
Therapy for me feels like a life-line, but simultaneously feels selfish -- like I am indulging myself. It isn't about the money. It is about the personal attention I get. So even though I Know it is helping, I still feel like it is more of a "want" than a "need".
Here is the question my Therapist ask: "I've told you I think you "need" to be here -- yet you seem to reject that. You are in huge amounts of pain and under huge amounts of stress. Why do your mental health needs feel "selfish" when your physical health needs don't?"
I didn't have a good answer for him, except that so much of what I struggle with I sometimes feel like I should be able to "fix" myself. Plus, it is hard for me to accept kindness. I tried to tell him that it wasn't because I didn't take what he said seriously or think it wasn't as important as what my GP says.
Anyone have a better answer?
poster:DaisyM
thread:290363
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031213/msgs/290363.html