Posted by crushedout on December 11, 2003, at 0:04:52
I see my T three times a week, usually on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Every Thursday, I feel kind of sad and panicky about the next few days without her. Fridays can be long days (she doesn't work Fridays), especially knowing I have the whole weekend alone ahead of me.So, last Friday, I decided to write a poem about it, which is something I haven't done since like the 8th grade. Amazingly, the poem just sort of wrote itself. It was actually good! And it even rhymed. It was strange, and moving. It made me cry to write it.
I finally brought myself to read it to her today, just before she leaves for vacation. She loved it. She said it made her feel cherished. One of the lines in it was "Love not free but real all the same." She told me that -- how did she put it? -- the love wasn't bought with the money. She said it was "bought" with what I showed her. That I was simply lovable. She's never told me she loves me, nor have I her, but I guess I could feel it. I guess she's shown me she "loves" me (as much as a therapist can love a patient, I guess).
Anyway, it was really wonderful. She told me she'd be thinking of me on her week away. I'm going to miss her terribly, but it helps to know that.
poster:crushedout
thread:288657
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/288657.html