Posted by Penny on December 10, 2003, at 10:01:05
I had a somewhat frustrating session with my T last night - sometimes I feel like she just doesn't 'get it.'
Okay, okay...I know she is human - she can't possibly 'get it' all the time, right? But I truly wonder how much I'm getting out of therapy...
It's not that I don't like my therapist - but it seems that she's not very intent on giving me ideas on how to deal with particular issues, but instead will point out errors in my thinking. I don't mean that what she is doing is wrong - last night she said that she knew it probably sounded picky, but that it might help a little if I stopped saying to myself, "I can't do this anymore" and started saying, "This is very difficult, but I am going to deal with it," or something like that.
I see her point. But what I guess I wanted was for her to give me some concrete suggestions about ways of dealing with my situation. Maybe. I don't know. I just felt like she didn't know what to tell me, or that she was agreeing that my circumstances are bad, but she didn't have any thoughts about how to improve them. She said she knew I was resourceful and that I would figure out a way of dealing with all of this (job, finances, etc.), and I know she's not a career counselor or a financial counselor, but maybe if she had even said, "You might consider speaking to a financial counselor," or something like that...
I don't know. I'm so frustrated and I just don't see how therapy is helping right now. I don't feel like I'm making any strides, small or great, in therapy. I don't feel like my pdoc gets it either, really - he kept pointing out how I AM enjoying certain things - babysitting, basketball season, my dogs - so everything isn't terrible...and I told him, yes, that's true, but even when I ended up in the hospital, I still enjoyed *some* things. I've never been so depressed that I didn't find any joy anywhere - it's just that those things are too few and far between.
I wish, truly, that I could just disappear. Just vanish. Cease to be. Not to 'die' necessarily - but I wish that I had never existed. I feel like I'm only barely existing right now anyway.
I don't have the energy or the motivation to deal with my stressors right now, and I just need a *little* help - someone to point me in the right direction - give me the name of someone who can give me more help - SOMETHING - but no one seems to have any answers. And I guess my question to my therapist is this - if she can't even point me in the right direction, how am I supposed to be able to guide myself?
I just want to sleep. Forever and ever.
P
poster:Penny
thread:288334
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/288334.html