Posted by helenag on December 8, 2003, at 9:48:35
Please help. I just got out of the hospital for the 6th time since april, but I hope that this time my pdoc got closer to what is going on with me. I hope because it feels like i'm going round and round and round like a hamster on a wheel. There is a diagnosis of depression but lots of other stuff i do that is plain destructive--I go through periods of anxiety and agitation where I can crawl out of my skin. There has always been an emptiness inside me, always, where at my lowest times life makes no sense at all. my friends always tell i am looking for something that doesn't exist. in my past i have been pals with people who were "arty" the poet-types who were also "lost" and forlorn. i am an alcoholic because i used booze and other substances to take the edge off the agitation and sadness. I have a love-hate relationship with my pdoc; lucky for me he hasn't left me. many times I have asked him not to leave me.
the only time my life has been stable has been when my kids were little and i had a good purpose in my life. i was a mom and plenty to do.Anyway, i came out of this hospitalization with the pdoc coming to the conclusion that i had personality disorder traits-he told me to read the book, I hate you, don't leave me. He sent me to a emotion therapy group and back to my therapist. He didn't say I was borderline, but that book is about borderline patients. Am I to assume that I have borderline traits? I have cut my cut my wrists twice, in previous hospitalizations. The only time I have ever done anything like that at all. Am I overly concerned with labels?? Is there a continum of borderline? Where there are degrees of the disorder??
I sure hope to receive some responses. Thank you.
poster:helenag
thread:287655
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/287655.html