Posted by TexasChic on November 28, 2003, at 10:05:27
I've made so much progress over the last several years with my depression, anxiety, and low self esteem. My friends call me self improvement girl. But lately, I just seem to be losing my grasp on everything I've worked so hard to obtain. My finances are chaos and I can't seem to get it together enough just to get the bills paid on time. I had been feeling so good about myself and so in control of my own happiness, but now I find myself going out drinking and trying to escape a miserable existence. I know my mom moving in with me has alot to do with it (I have been my grandmother's caregiver for the past 5 years, my mom recently moved in with us and is a control freak [and mentally unstable] and has been making my life miserable). I am planning to move out and let my mom care for my Grandmother (she's capable of that at least), but the finance thing makes it difficult. I guess I just feel kind of trapped. I know I should just get out so I can get away from the negativity, and then maybe I can think straight again. My therapist said its time to get out, and that I'd be more help to my Grandmother when I'm out of there and able to get my life under some control again. I guess I'm just scared. I've always lived with relatives (garage apt's, ect.) and moving to an regular apartment is kind of a big step for me. I'm afraid I won't have enough money, and I'll just be out there on my own for the first time! I crave it, but I fear it too. I guess its just a step I have to get past. Anyway, I know this is long and confusing, I just needed to get it out. I'm just feeling kind of scared, lost, and alone today.
poster:TexasChic
thread:284737
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031123/msgs/284737.html