Posted by crushedout on November 19, 2003, at 0:40:39
In reply to Re: follow up, posted by Rigby on November 18, 2003, at 23:22:44
hi rigby,
yeah, although we don't really discuss it explicitly that often, i think my t and i both have a pretty good idea of why i'm there. it's hard to describe. my problems are kind of complicated and amorphous.
anyway, in a sort of general way, my life is really crazy right now; i'm in a huge transition. i have lots of time on my hands, a little extra money, great insurance, and absolutely no structure or direction in my life (i guess one of the -- if not the -- major reasons i'm in tx). so for me, tx gives me a little structure, which i desperately need, and i also have a lot of stuff i need to work on. i'm in a crisis of sorts. a long-term one, it seems.
so, the way i see it, this is the perfect, the only, time to do this. i mean, why the heck not, if i can? since i have the time, money, motivation to work on myself? another reason i wanted to go more often was to talk more about this transference stuff, which i've discussed with her somewhat but not enough. i'm trying. she's trying. she brings it up and i freeze. i dunno.
so, it's basically been my idea to go to 3x a week. she had mentioned the possibility once awhile ago (because i was saying i wanted to see her more often) and i said i couldn't afford it time or moneywise. since that changed recently, i told her i decided 3x a week would be good, and although she seemed slightly worried (she thinks i might just be "addicted" to her or something), she agreed. she also warned me that it could be really intense. i wasn't sure i believed her but now i do. i think this is the time for this, though. i'm afraid it may be now or never. i'm really lost and afraid to go into a downward spiral. it would be so easy to do right now.
i'm feeling kind of defensive of her about this. is there some reason you think 3x a week is a bad idea for me? i'd be curious to know why.
i'm single. i have friends, but i haven't been wanting to see them for the most part lately. i've been just wanting to be alone (well, i'd rather be with my t constantly, but given that that's not an option, i want to be alone). and it's insidious. the more i isolate the more i want to isolate. but basically, i'm feeling more and more like all the "real" people in my life just are *not* giving me what i really need and she is the *only* person who really understands me at all. so i feel like i don't want to see any of them. of course that makes me utterly dependent on my T.
crushed
> Hi Crushed,
>
> Not that it's always appropriate but it never hurts to review why you're in therapy and what you wish to achieve. Therapy is intense--three days per week is *very* intense. You've mentioned before that you were going to process getting over a relationship (I think??) and that you'd mostly accomplished that (I think--sorry) so I would maybe want to review why you're there now and why so often. It sounds like therapy is the main thing going on for you--do you have friends and people around to talk to besides your therapist? I'd also want to know why your therapist thinks three times per week is necessary. What is she telling you you need to work on?
>
> Keep us posted. Hope tomorrow goes well.
>
> Rigby
>
poster:crushedout
thread:280750
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031114/msgs/281129.html