Posted by Dinah on October 25, 2003, at 8:48:55
That I was reading my files from the old clinic, and that they had been bound and put in some sort of library. There were also case studies inserted into the notes. I was reading them, but they were so overwhelmingly upsetting that I really couldn't take them in. I tried to sneak out of the library with them, but there was a microchip or something so I couldn't. So I had to try to copy them all. I asked if there was somewhere I could read them privately and they led me to a "chapel" smaller than a bathroom stall. More the size of a confessional?
So of course I wake up and I'm mad at my therapist. How *dare* he put that stuff in my files!!!! (rofl)
I kind of know where the dream came from. My report on the neurologist's findings, and telling him how they relate to his favorite racehorse analogy led him to tell me that my oversensitive and hyperreflexive nervous system was probably why I explained things the way I did. That I was trying to explain phenomenon that I actually experienced but that most people didn't because of my nervous system wiring. I didn't say much at the time, but it brought up all my old anger at things he told my old psychiatrist who in turn told me.
So now I want to request all my medical records from the old clinic and from the psychiatrist. :) But I'm thinking that's probably not a very good idea, because I might find things that will disrupt the therapeutic alliance.
Have you guys asked for your current psych records? I've asked for ones from all my prior doctors (of any sort) when I leave their service - except for the pdoc from h*ll, because I figured there might be stuff in there that would make me angry with my therapist.
It's on my to do list for first thing Monday morning. What do you think?
poster:Dinah
thread:273073
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031011/msgs/273073.html