Posted by Adia on October 14, 2003, at 16:25:25
In reply to Re: therapists and love, posted by crushedout on October 13, 2003, at 18:20:58
Hi!
You are welcome!
I've just checked my writings and journals to see when I exchanged those words with my T..I had been seeing her for a year and a half...
at first I tried to say the words without drawing too much attention to them, for instance, I would write 'I love you very much', closing a letter to her :o) but I have told her out loud..especially after a hard hard moment and if she reaches out to me..She told me that after I had really risked sharing and trusting her.
I wish you the best with your therapist. How long have you been seeing him/her?
If you wish to know something else, don't hesitate to ask..
sending you lots of support,
Adia.> Adia,
>
> Thanks so much for your response. Can I ask how long you'd been seeing your T before you exchanged these words? I'm just curious. I'd really like to have this experience, even though I know it may also be painful.
>
>
> > Hi..
> > I agree with Dinah that this is confusing...
> >
> > I do feel loved by my therapist. and I do feel I love her. She has explained what she means, and I understand that she cares about me and wants the best for me.
> > I have told her I love her.And I heard those words from her too..She explained how she can love me..she said she loves me as a human being and accepts me, but she cannot love me the way I would maybe like her to...(as a mommy)but she does love me as (her name), as my therapist.
> > I feel she does care about me and it is real..I've asked her too if I could trust it to be real.
> > She has made clear what she wants for me..
> > And I what I feel is that she does care and wants the best.
> > However, since it is a bit confusing, I try to hang on to actions..to what she does..to things she does that show me that she does care about me...her availability, how happy she seems to be if I make progress, her acceptance of me, some little probably stupid things, like if she gets angry for me if someone hurt me or did something bad to me.
> > I did feel the need to hear I love you and fortunately she has told me...not very often, I remember two times..One was when I disclosed in writing something that was really important and which I had never ever said to anyone..and the fact that she said I love you very much made me feel I wanted to live ... and then, recently, after I took a brave step in telling too...and when we said goodbye she said those words.
> > but she has always made clear to me what she meant by that.
> >
> > I know all this sounds confusing, as Dinah has shared...
> > I don't even know how to explain :o)
> >
> > just wanted to reply to your post and share my experiences...
> >
> > all the best,
> > Adia.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > I'm just looking for thoughts. Can one *love* one's therapist? Can a therapist *love* a client? Do they love all their clients? How can they have so much love then?
> > >
> > > Do people have experiences exchanging "I love you"s with their Ts? That must be weird and intense. I'd love to hear stories and feedback. (I know it's bad to have sex with your therapist, but I'm talking about LOVE. I'm wondering, is it real? Of course, this raises huge questions about the nature of love, etc. What the hey is love, anyhoo? I have no idea. Thoughts on any of this of course may be interesting.)
> >
> >
>
>
poster:Adia
thread:268932
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031011/msgs/269378.html