Posted by Penny on September 5, 2003, at 11:52:55
about the whole 'validizing' thing - how it seems she takes 'my side' when I'm talking about people I have a problem with, etc., and I asked her how that is. How can she almost always agree with me about things regarding my parents, my roommate, etc.
Her response was that she's not so concerned with the accuracy/truthfulness of the stories I relate to her, but is more concerned with my feelings surrounding those stories.
She said that she has had situations where she was doing couples counseling where one partner was clearly overly hostile or whatever toward the other, at which point she would tell them so, but she said she tried to do it in a way so they would 'hear' what she was saying as opposed to becoming defensive and/or walking out.
She also said that she doesn't 'always' agree with me - sometimes she will say "that's one way of looking at it." And I guess she does, now that I think about it. She also said that she has learned that the best way of getting people to change their perspective on something is to not be critical of what they're saying, b/c that makes people defensive.
Yep. Makes sense to me.
P
poster:Penny
thread:257273
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/257273.html