Posted by dazedandconfused on September 2, 2003, at 17:07:16
I also posted this on the Pscyho-Babble site, but perhaps it belongs here instead (I don't know!). This is my first time posting a question so hope it makes sense. I haven’t seen this issue discussed and really need help sorting it out.
Does anyone else have trouble determining whether or not their meds are effective?
I don’t notice much of anything (life in general, meds). I feel somewhat disconnected; not in touch with feelings (physical or emotional) at all. But when I read other posters say, “on X med, I felt more motivated, focused, etc.” but X med made me feel “agitated, anxious, etc.”, I simply can’t relate. And it really blows me away when a poster can be so specific as to say, “X med improved my motivation level to 70%, and X med is clearing up the residual depression and obsessions”. HUH??? How can you be so detailed in your description of your reaction to meds? What am I missing?
I have no idea whether my meds are effective. When I first started treatment for this round of depression (three years ago), I was laying in bed all day sobbing uncontrollably. So, yes, the meds have been effective in pulling me out of that and I am “better” than I used to be. However, I certainly don’t feel “well”. I haven’t worked in three years and get overwhelmed with the smallest of household activities. (I have other symptoms, but am trying to keep this message from becoming ridiculously long). I have no idea if my motivation levels and ability to focus are normal, but I suspect not. I believe I have suffered from varying degrees of depression my entire life; therefore, if I have never had high levels of motivation or focus, how will I know when / if it happens? How will I know when meds are working and I am getting well (or as well as I can get?)
As an example of being disconnected, of all the meds I have tried I have never noticed the side effect of dry mouth. Now I probably have a dry mouth, but I simply don’t notice it. In fact, I have rarely noticed any side effects from meds (occasional headache). Although this “not noticing” is great for negative side effects, the flip side is I don’t even know what positive effects are coming from the meds. In other words, I have a hard time determining how well my meds are working. Energy, focus, motivation, mood, etc…HUH? HUH? HUH? Obviously, this keeps me from making much progress. How can I tell if I am on the correct meds if I am not aware of how I feel and if I have always suffered from depression?
Is this ADD? Disassociation? Am I just spacey? Apathy?
I am on high dosages of all my meds, so it shouldn’t be a dosing question.
I really hope someone answers. This is a huge stumbling block for me.
poster:dazedandconfused
thread:256396
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030814/msgs/256396.html