Posted by allisonf on May 1, 2003, at 16:21:15
In reply to Re: Forever therapy » allisonf, posted by Dinah on April 28, 2003, at 12:22:41
Thanks, Dinah, for seeing this crazy stuff with my therapist in a positive way. This is why I haven't tried to switch therapists. I'm convinced that this is some mechanism to deal with my hypomanic energy (even tho the obsessive thinking that goes on isn't very pleasant)and that I will just end up in love with the next therapist the same way. That's why, fallsfall, it just seems unfair that your therapist wants to go to every other week or to terminate in Sept. if you're not feeling better about the dependency thing. And you've been with her 8 years! The fact that *she* (or her supervision group) is instigating it makes it seem like she's the one with the issue to work out there. I think it's marvelous that you were able to be so honest with yourself about your self definition/self worth and then be so open with her about it. That's what I think is good work in therapy. I have an optomistic view that stuff like that really helps you function better outside of therapy in the long run.
I am so sensitive to this issue b/c I've been going thru something sort of similar with my therapist, tho my dependency on her is packaged in a romantic infatuation rather than the more honest way yours is. I was inspired by you and Dinah and this week, and I did talk to her about the transference issues in therapy. I didn't end up discussing the bracelet tho I did talk about the self-disclosure piece which she already knew anyway. BTW, Dinah, it was really interesting to me that self-disclosure doesn't really affect you the same way. I swear, we need more books like In Session. Therapy is too private an experience (like you said in an earlier post) and I am always wondering if other clients go thru what I do. Like not being able to make eye contact. Until you all were posting about it, I thought I was the only one.
Anyway, therapy was kind of a bummer, b/c even tho our rapport was good, I got the impression that she was uncomfortable with the topic. Like she ended the session 5 minutes early. She has *never* in all the years I've known her, ended early & she routinely keeps me about 10-15 minutes late. I ended up having a 1/2 phone session yesterday to clear things up. That went really well. She assured me that I can discuss my feelings for her in therapy, and that I shouldn't worry about making her uncomfortable b/c she has other people to go to if she needs support. And no, I didn't bring up the ending early b/c she ended up keeping me a lot later than 1/2 of a session on the phone. (And I chickened out). The whole thing made me really want to work thru this tho...and my plan was exactly what you have been talking about, fallsfall: getting a life. I'm hoping there's something to that. That if I was in school or had a job (I'm home with my kids now), and had less time to obsess about therapy & less time to write about my therapist, that I would get past this dependency thing quicker. Oh, I don't know...
poster:allisonf
thread:220332
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030407/msgs/223671.html