Posted by WorryGirl on March 24, 2003, at 8:38:31
In reply to Re: How many mental illnesses can 1 person have, posted by shawna on March 24, 2003, at 7:56:31
> what is a belimia test?--this i have never heatd of.
Shawna,
The psychologist I saw is a friend of my friend and had already been told about my bulimia. Knowing this, he gave me a brief questionnaire asking me questions about my eating habits. This confirmed my bulimia, which was the only obvious illness I have anyhow (obvious to me in that I know what I do to myself even if others can't see what I'm doing).> the fact that you take so good care of your two girls that they have been unscathed, as a mother i can tell you this would rule out social anxiety disorder, maybe social anxiety but not as a disorder.
I am only hoping they are unscathed. So far they show no signs of behavior that would cause any concern, although my three year old has often asked me why I was crying and I told her I was sad because I missed Daddy when he is out of town or some other reason I could think of. They are one and three years old, and because I don't get out much (only for my three year old's gym class and that is torture because of the social anxiety).
The social anxiety disorder is 100% confirmed. It had been confirmed by the therapist I saw for a few months last year and was brought up again my this psychologist when the test showed a high likelihood for the disorder. No one had to tell me I have social anxiety disorder anyway. When I am around others I absolutely freeze. I can barely talk, I shake, and feel such immense fear that people think I'm weird, crazy or both and avoid me, which I prefer. When I am around anyone outside of my family and my two or three long-time friends, I feel incredible feelings of inadequacy and am afraid that I don't measure up. I'm afraid that everyone is talking about me and scrutinizing me finding me to fall short in everything. I prefer to stay locked up in my house all day even when I am so bored I can't stand it. Sometimes I'll take the girls to the park but I feel so uncomfortable around the other mothers that I have to leave. You see, they are making fun of me behind my back and think I'm a pathetic loser (in my mind anyway).
> also true bipolar , obsessive compulsive and true parinoia.
I tested high in all of these disorders, apparently because of the way that I answered the questions. What I tested low on was schizoid, histrionic, and narcissistic personality, among others. It doesn't appear that I have borderline personality either. I haven't gone back to the psychologist yet, but my friend recently told me that the test he gave me merely showed what I had tendencies toward these disorders and nothing had been 100% confirmed until I talk with him further.
My severe and unpredictable mood swings that often last for days seem to be indicative of bipolar. I'm paranoid that my husband is having an affair, that people are "out to get me" and want to hurt me just because they don't like me, etc. I'm obsessive-compulsive about many things. When I shop online, start a hobby, talk on the telephone, or even read (I'll read 50 books on a subject I'm interested in when two or three would be sufficient) obsessively. When I decide to clean, it's all or nothing. Before I had kids, I'd clean for over 24 hours, continuously finding something wrong that needed to be cleaned. I'm always afraid that I have left the house unlocked, the stove or iron on, etc. and have gone back to the house several times to "make sure". Now when I get the urge to clean I do it at night when the kids are asleep and often won't sleep all night. The rest of the time the house is in constant disarray which I'm ashamed of.
I'm terrified of confrontation of any kind. I run like hell and have even left a store or situation right in the middle of the transaction when I felt that someone was looking at me in a bad way or giving me an unkind attitude. When someone is truly mad at me I want to hide behind closed doors and can't face them.
No, I don't know that I have these disorders 100% yet, but I have a pretty good idea of the outcome and am terrified to go back. I'm afraid the pdoc will think I'm one of those really bad nutcases who only appears somewhat normal on the surface. My biggest fear is of crying in public.
> a man would berate me for stating this but as a mother i know what it takes to raise children, what all they and we go thru, what they pick up without our knowing emotionally etc...so i state the previous in all sincerity.I can only hope that my girls haven't already picked up some negative stuff from me. My husband is justifiably concerned that they may have even though they don't show any signs yet. I hope it doesn't come out when they're older. And if I came out sounding like I'm this terrific mom it wasn't exactly how I meant for that to come out. What I meant was that it amazes me that they do appear unscathed so far. There are days when I feel like the biggest failure in the world and have zero tolerance for things they do sometimes. I've never physically abused them but I have raised my voice to my three year old, but always apologized afterwards and hugged her and told her how much she was loved and wanted. I don't my kids to hear the kind of things I heard growing up.
> these test by their very nature are made to be "sensitive"> you may have normal concerns such as if a question was on a test and it asked are you suspicious of people, you put yes, and in real life you work for an investigative agency or your husband has cheated on you then this question in relation to your life should not flag parinoia, but because this is a battery that is given to a whole populus and has not been tailored to you...it will! they try to weed these indescrepencies out by supplimenting other questions on down the list to prclude or exclude but on the borderline cases this does not work...that is why these tests are only a suppotive means for the doctor to use in his diognosis and not the diagnosis itself although i have seen some lazy doctor syndrome for which this has been done and taken as gospel.
> at any rate do not worry to much as these tests do not prclude in themselves a pathological condition.
> the fact that you were given the illness names, that you could have ,presumtiousely tells me that i would definetely seek another doctor as that is bad medicine number one and that he may be using these test as a diagnosic instead of a means of retreaving information to help make a diagnosis upon further doctor patient investigation.
>Thank you for all of these words and I am going to go see another doctor anyway, because I don't feel comfortable knowing that he knows my friend. I specifically asked if I could take the tests you were talking about and he gave it to me immediately on my first and only visit then we briefly talked about the results. He said that he was concerned about the results and that we would discuss them more on my next visit. That's why I was so terrified. Plus he said that I would need medication and he would have to further determine what I would need. I'm afraid of taking medication, as well.
Thank you again - I greatly appreciate your input. You and everyone else who has responded has helped me feel better about everything. Although I don't know what my true diagnoses are yet, I do know there is something wrong. But to know that there are others who understand and can often give helpful advice does make a difference.
poster:WorryGirl
thread:210476
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030310/msgs/212131.html