Posted by Krissy P on March 15, 2003, at 18:35:25
In reply to I'm proud of me., posted by Dinah on March 15, 2003, at 11:22:07
I'm very glad you are making some progress in therapy :-)
Ok, I depended on all of my therapists for so long, and very often to the point I would lie just to get attention. I never really had a mother figure so every women (therapist or psych nurse) that showed they cared about me and genuinely liked me, was extremely touching for me. However, I would sometimes go back to the same psych ward just to see these people again. Even when I wasn't suicidal. I look back now and realize how much better I really have gotten, but I will never re-visit my actions again.
**Exactly, a therapist isn't doing their job if their client is continuing to struggle, continuing to depend on him/her. But it's also the therapist's job to not let that happen and a good therapist won't. A good therapist will allow you to discuss your feelings of "becoming independent" and encouraging you to do so. I know, for me, like many people, that in therapy, you form quite a close bond with each other-on both parties sometimes and that's ok-as long as it doesn't, again, prevent you from being independent. I have learned that friends and family can offer loads of support-but when it comes down to it, you only have your self, when the rest of the world runs out, and it is possible and we survive. I suffered a lot of fear when frequent absences of my therapists occurred, but they do have a life remember ;) and I think it is great that you have a back-up because one never knows what will happen-you're right-no way to find out unless you try.
I'm proud of you and yep, you're growing some-I did.
Did this help?
*hugs* Kristen
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Some progress is being made in therapy.
My therapist answered a question of mine about my dependence on him by saying the dependence was only a stage and that eventually I would become independent. When I said what would happen if I didn't, would he kick me out of therapy, he answered that it would mean he wasn't doing his job well, but no it wouldn't be therapeutic to terminate me under those conditions.
Of course later I worried about what he meant, but I didn't panic like I would have at one time. I just asked him the next time I saw him if I had understood the implications. Did he mean that I wasn't expected to stop therapy at some point because I no longer got benefit from it. But that I would eventually have enough other coping skills that my dependence on therapy would not be as intense. And he agreed that that was what he meant.
Also, he's found someone he thinks will be an adequate substitute therapist for if I have meltdowns while he is out of town for his other job. I felt that his frequent absences were detrimental to my therapy, and asked that we try to find solutions. So I'm going to meet with this guy a few times so that if I need him he won't be a complete stranger. I don't know if it will work out. No way to know unless we try. But I identified my need and was proactive in trying to find a solution for it.
Not bad for the week between one out of town trip and another. I'm pretty proud of the improvement in the way I handled it from how I would have handled it previously. Maybe therapy is more than just a crutch, maybe I am growing some.
poster:Krissy P
thread:209371
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030310/msgs/209465.html