Posted by KrissyP on March 10, 2003, at 0:37:09
In reply to Re: A PLEA-PLEASE ANY ADVICE-I'M NEW, posted by PuraVida on March 9, 2003, at 1:47:24
Hi PV-yes it is so nice to get replies, but we all get busy. Thanks so much for the reply.
As far as your question>>"I was wondering if you are living at home to help your family out, or if you are there because it is best for you" BOTH LOL Over the years my mom and I have butt heads so bad at times that I got suicidal. My "nana" is also deteriorating and I wanted to be in the area to help-and I'm happy to say I have. Plus, I missed the weather in CA-I moved to Oregon-mistake-friends who I thought were friends turned out not to be BIG TIME-long story...Also, it is the most feasible for my budget right now.
Anyway, yeah, at times I wonder if it would help to be a robot. LOL I have done a lot of therapy. One on one and group, and I have benefited a lot. BUT, I have to say, that as I've gotten more mature, I, myself have been the one to change my thinking processes, of course with the help from the past therapy. My mom and I actually had a talk today-because she tries to take care of MY business. For example: my credit card bills(which is minimal). I know she wants to help, but I told he that we need to break this cycle of her not trusting me to do the right things and be responsible. My dad seemed to be good with me on that. I told my mom that I loved her and I wanted to try to decrease the stress between us concerning this issue, I then went out and bought her a coffee maker-she'd been needing one for weeks, I also told her I would pay for her to get her hair done by the awesome stylist I go to for her birthday at the end of this month. I did these things because she deserves it:-)
That's the thing-when I have lived away since I was 18, I did a lot better. I am hoping this is a temporary living arrangement-as I have to have my space and she needs hers. I am in school full-time and I plan to look for a place AND my puppy this summer-when school settles down a bit. Yeah, I am a lot like my mom in some ways, but a lot different in other ways. I get some wonderful traits from her:-)
I thought about going back to therapy. My favorite therapist-I got angry at and don't think I could call to ask her for help again. I get angry at therapists that get too close. I am getting better though. If it gets worse, I will most likely seek out therapy again, but today was busy, and better.
How are you???
Hope to hear back,
Kristen
==================================================================================================Hi Kristin,
I hope a shower helped. I just posted this afternoon (the post right above yours) and guess I am looking for a bit of wisdom, too. I don't post asking for help often, though I do try to contribute and offer support, so it is even more depressing when no one replies to your post.
I was wondering if you are living at home to help your family out, or if you are there because it is best for you. I can't imagine living at home again as an adult - I had my mother live with me when I was her caregiver and it was very stressful, for sure.
Have you done any cognitive therapy? You mention wanting the feelings to stop - thing is - they just don't - otherwise we'd be robots, wouldn't we. The cognitive therapy really has helped me think through uncomfortable feelings - replacing distorted thoughts with more rational ones.
I hope you don't mind me saying, but you say you are so different from your mom, but it seems like you are doing as she does, in the sense that you are trying to take care of everyone else - feeling responsible for your mom's happiness, etc.
I do know that I need to get back into more regular therapy sessions. I changed healthcare and I don't really like my new guy - and so I haven't been. I miss my old therapist. So, maybe that is on your list of things to try too?
Well, I hope you sleep well and have a better day tomorrow -
PV
poster:KrissyP
thread:207253
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030203/msgs/207656.html