Posted by laurarn on January 30, 2003, at 20:07:38
I'm in a tough spot in therapy. I realize that I need to move on through this and not run away, like I've done for years. I think once I work this process through it will metabolize in my system somehow and work itself out.
But, I feel 2 times a week would help and so does my therapist. Just for a short while, to get through this time. But, I cannot pay for 2 sessions a week, only one. I am not being cheap, I just cannot afford it. My HMO will not cover this therapist as he is "not in network". Never mind that I've been seeing him for over a year. But, I feel paying for therapy is part of the process. I am willing to sacrafice some things in order to afford this part of my life. It is like an investment for me.
I also quit my job today. I have to work and do not have a disability plan, so I will need to find something else to do. But, I'm losing whole parts of my day and cannot afford that in my profession. This is the first time in my life that I've felt beaten by all this. Finally beaten.
I used to be able to hold it together, quite nicely in fact. I no longer can do that. And I am terrified right now.
poster:laurarn
thread:2375
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021230/msgs/2375.html