Posted by Dinah on January 23, 2003, at 9:25:05
In reply to Therapy frustrations, posted by laurarn on January 23, 2003, at 8:13:09
I agree that you are perfectly justified in your anger. You've hit on one of my pet peeves with my therapist. He is terribly disorganized. He once double scheduled an appointment for my husband, who had taken off from work. He's never done that to me, although he has called and asked me to move an appointment to a time that is far less convenient to me. Once he forgot to write down some else's appointment and asked me to change mine. Once he forgot to write down my appointment and asked me to change mine. I told him that he had to choose one system and stick with it, because I wasn't always going to be the one who accomodated. I recently had a discussion with him about how uncomfortable I felt refusing his requests to change my time, even though because of my schedule it meant a whole lost hour with absolutely nothing to do. I'm hoping he'll be more sensitive to the fact, although I am trying to practice telling him I'll just see him the next time.
Once or twice he was expecting a phone call, told me in advance and explained why, and kept the call brief. Not bad in nearly eight years.
He is not infrequently distracted by his own concerns. I usually ask him if he's all here, he sometimes gives a short explanation, always apologizes, and works harder to concentrate. I sometimes suggest he walk around a bit (while I talk) to clear his head. I consider that partly my problem, I'm afraid, as it usually happens when my affect is flat. I'm sure I am so dull at those times that it is hard for him to focus his attention. :) So I acknowledge that when it's true and we work on that as well. Perhaps I wish he did some of the work in figuring out what was going wrong.
He also occasionally slips back into the habit of catching up time on me. He'll be running late when I come in, but more on time when I leave. I tend to bring the emotional scale down a bit at the end for my own purposes so perhaps he thinks he can safely do this. If I don't care, I don't say anything. But sometimes I say "Don't you *dare* catch up time on me today." and we sit around uncomfortably for the remaining time.
But my point to all this is that discussing your frustrations is the best option. I haven't found that professionals of any sort are likely to reimburse you for their lapses, but perhaps you can work out something to the satisfaction of both of you.
poster:Dinah
thread:2274
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021230/msgs/2277.html