Posted by mair on December 16, 2002, at 8:39:33
In reply to Re: Things have settled down., posted by Dinah on December 15, 2002, at 12:30:48
"Unfortunately, because of the discussions we've had since this event, I don't think he'll be all that open about things in the future, and probably won't tell me until he's ready to go."
Dinah - I don't think you can know this, and you certainly can't worry that he's ready to drop a bomb shell on you with no warning and no time to adjust. You've been seeing this guy for a long time and I'm sure he feels that he's very responsible for you. Also, my therapist relishes the opportunity to talk about our relationship because she thinks it's a good jumping off place for dealing with other relationships. Try to maybe get comfortable with the idea that your therapist now may feel that there is a frame of reference for dealing with these issues when and if they arise again.
You've observed before that you can talk to him about almost anything except your relationship. Far from being horrifying to him that you're so vulnerable on the issue of him leaving, he may be gratified that the two of you worked through this to some degree. The true end result may not be that the crisis passed because he's going to stay. It may be that you were forced to bring out into the open your fears about being without him.
Mair
poster:mair
thread:1493
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1852.html