Posted by Mark H. on November 21, 2002, at 19:42:09
In reply to HELP! déjà vu all over again, therapist slacking, posted by Medusa on November 21, 2002, at 14:25:27
Hi Medusa,
Long-term therapeutic valleys can be boring and seem unproductive, but sometimes they are just what I need. As a client, I don't necessarily want to soak through my shirt *every* Monday evening and feel trashed for the rest of the week. :-)
If I have two or three profound "ah-hahs" over the course of a year of therapy, I figure I've got my money's worth and then some.
My therapist tells me that there's a predictable phase in the therapeutic process when the client begins to notice (and resent) his being 5 minutes late or taking time to talk about his own (relevant) experience. I've reached that spot a couple of times, and I suspect it is part of transference, at least for me.
If I were better motivated to maximize what I get from the process, I'd do my homework, write down questions as they arose during the week, keep a journal, prioritize the things I wanted to change about myself, and really work on them. But generally, I'm at once too busy with work and too lazy (when I'm not at work) to do that.
I like to take breaks from therapy, and even plan for them. For instance, if I'm seeing a counselor I haven't worked with before, I might commit to four sessions with her/him to begin with. Then, if the interaction has been beneficial, I might commit to an additional six months or a year, depending on my circumstances and goals for the process.
If I don't set a date for exit (or at least re-evaluation), then I tend to let my therapy become more a source of maintenance and support than growth. And there's nothing wrong with that, as long as I'm clear with myself that that's what I'm using it for.
Honesty can be wonderfully disarming. If I were your situation, I'd ask my therapist outright if she is becoming bored with me and, if so, why that is. If I didn't like the answer (and weren't willing to do anything to change it), then I'd look for a different therapist. Even outstanding therapists aren't necessarily right for everyone.
Best wishes,
Mark H.
poster:Mark H.
thread:1621
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1625.html