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Re: Regrets » Miller

Posted by Eddie Sylvano on November 15, 2002, at 14:20:49

In reply to Regrets, posted by Miller on November 15, 2002, at 11:47:34

>But how does a person change? I feel hopeless, sad, and lonely because of it.
> Any help or information would be appreciated.
---------------

If you're looking for a prescription for change, I would say that it's all about awareness and vigilance.
You do the things you do by default. It's how you've come to deal with things, and doesn't require much thought. The only way to change things is to override your defaults. To do this, you need to maintain a nearly constant surveilance of yourself when you're in situations where your actions matter. No one else is going to be there to tell you what to do, so you need to rely on yourself.
You almost have to operate beyond yourself, so that you can make more concious decisions about what you want to say, do, etc. Slow down your response rate, and evaluate situations more dispassionately (like, what would you tell a friend to do in the same situation?). If you can master this, there's no reason you can't be anyone you want to be. It's hard to do, and not as immediately rewarding as just going with your gut, but it seems like the only way.


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poster:Eddie Sylvano thread:1558
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1562.html