Posted by AMD on March 12, 2006, at 13:47:23
I engaged in an extreme cocaine binge Wednesday night, the effects of which I am still feeling physically. I have been sleeping and dead tired for three days, and tomorrow I have work. My mind is all over the place, I feel miserable, and essentially I'm worried I'm not going to recover.
This is taking forever... can I expect to feel physically, if not mentally, well any time soon?
Tomorrow morning will be the four-day mark.
On top of that, I'm severely depressed. I can't remember being this depressed. I was of course on a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs from substance abuse last year, but lately things had been smooth: no use for four months; feeling mentally sharp, gradually getting better each day; and, most important, happy. The feeling I was getting my life on track.
I don't know how to explain this, but I feel like I threw it all away last week. I'm a wreck. What do I do? Am I lost for good? Is there any way I can get my mind back into a positive mood about the future, rather than the dysphoric, pessimistic mood I introduced Wednesday night?
I feel like I could die today, and it's not going away.
amd
poster:AMD
thread:619387
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/health/20060202/msgs/619387.html