Posted by babybear on January 19, 2006, at 15:31:01
In reply to Re: Is my need for sleep normal or a problem? » babybear, posted by sleepygirl on January 19, 2006, at 14:50:55
Sleepygirl,
Thanks for responding again. It sounds like you know just how I'm feeling.
When you yell at people in your sleep, do you remember the dream clearly when you wake up, or is it just a matter of sort of knowing that's what was heppening? I remember so many of my dreams so vividly that it's almost like I'm more alive in my dreams than I am when I'm awake, if that makes any sense. So many of my dreams are related to re-living past trauma situations that it makes me scared to sleep sometimes.
You're so right about the flight/fight response and how the events of the day and pressing issues go round and round my head when I do try to go to sleep. That is spot on how I feel. Even non-pressing issues spin round and round. Things I should do, or should have done or said or said differently or done differently or ought to do. The "shoulds and oughts" are biggies. Even knowing that things can't be un-done doesn't seem to stop my head from trying to tell me how I should have done them differently.
I've tried a variety of ways to "relax" - but I don't know if I've ever actually felt relaxed in my whole life. I do the best with music, and often set something soothing on a timer when I go to bed. I even have some CD's with subliminal relaxation and sleep messages in them. I have a wonderful CD called Songs for the Inner Child which makes me feel good. It has some lullabye songs on it, which seem nice. I have also been trying to do some progressive body relaxation exercises, but seem to get caught up in whether I'm doing them "correctly" or not and end up over-analyzing them instead of relaxing from them.
I probably sound like a nut case, but believe it or not, therapy has helped me a lot, and continues to. I just got back from a session a little bit ago. In retrospect, I'm way, way better than I was a couple of years ago when I was completely debilitated by the panic and flashbacks. I have a history of childhood abuse, followed by an abusive first marriage, then an abusive situation at my job, and I just cracked one day. It's been a slow process putting the pieces back together, and my current t has been amazing. (My first t was one I wouldn't wish on anyone, and would still like to kick for the horrible excuse for advice they gave me.)
I know this is all a process and that it takes time, but I'm so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, you know? I just want to wake up feeling good and refreshed, like those women in the TV commercials. LOL! Wake up with a smile on my face, wearing a nice lace nightgown, looking rosy and refreshed and without horrible bed-head. :-) I gave myself the giggles with that picture, because it's so NOT me.
It does remind me of a nice sentiment for you that I can close with (I saw this on a card once): May you always be as healthy and as happy as the people in the beer commercials always seem to be!
babybear
poster:babybear
thread:599851
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/health/20051214/msgs/600770.html