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Re: very strange vibes

Posted by KaraS on June 13, 2005, at 3:33:47

In reply to very strange vibes, posted by cockeyed on June 9, 2005, at 22:05:20

> Going "under the knife" soon. BFD, it's an out patient procedure but it involves my eyes. And I've been scared. But my Pdoc returned from vacation and the new T who I thought I didn't like seems to have rescued me from abandonment to a waiting list. I felt sort of the way you feel when you hear, "your call is very important to us..." after you've run the gamut of incomprehensible options. Anyway, I suddenly seem to have snapped out of the onset of my usual depression...greasy sheets, mess on the floor, cursed by every thought. Picked up my guitar and played. Did some work! And I feel it too. almost good but I don't want "it" to notice.
> And, no matter what, I wonder why, like a stinking tide, depression creeps into every thought. I can feel it coming when my dreams are way more interesting than my life or movies or anything for that matter. today I wasn't paralyzed, altho my meds knocked me out I awoke and just started doing stuff. seems so easy, if only...cockeyed.


I'm not sure I follow you. Are you saying that your fear has knocked out your paralysis and got you doing things around around your apartment? And because of this you feel better?

I hope your procedure goes well.

K


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