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Re: Gosh darn it, my eating is whacked!

Posted by Racer on July 22, 2004, at 12:40:04

In reply to Gosh darn it, my eating is whacked!, posted by gardenergirl on July 22, 2004, at 11:21:59

No, I've never experienced anything like that. You must be -- different...

Yes, and I'm going through something like that now. I go through this cycle of trying to control what I eat, getting fatalistic about it and just giving in, then continuing to eat as a sort of self-punishment, and then just not eating both to punish myself and because it seems as if it's the only way to avoid overeating. (By the way, that's a pattern that doesn't depend on the other eating problems -- it's just a bit less pronounced when I'm restricting a lot anyway.) Like right now, when I'm fighting the Great Potato Chip Beast. My husband buys them for me, and I can't control myself with them. After dinner, when I'm already a bit uncomfortably full, I'll still crave them and fill a bowl saying, "just this one bowl..." Then I'll refill the bowl, because I just can't stop myself.... It's devastating.

The excuse, by the way, on both our parts is the cat with kidney failure. He sits on my lap while I eat them, and I give him bits while I eat. He loves Ruffles, both BBQ and Sour Cream and Onion flavors. So, picture me eating a bite of a chip, then giving the MonsterBeast a piece of the same chip, and repeating the process over and over. (My ex-bf used to get upset about me eating orange and vanilla Creamsicles with the cat, because I'd take a bite, then let the cat take a bite... {shrug} Cat licks my eyelids, chews on my eyelashes, and sometimes nips my lips, so why is taking a delicate bite of my Creamsicle such a big deal?) Anyway, since the cat is sick, and is on a restricted protein diet, the potato chips seem like a reasonable treat for him in moderation, so I don't get quite so obsessive about not buying them.

Anyway, the best advice I can give you about how to handle any of it is not all that good. For eating, I try to make it easy for myself to avoid the sweet/crunchy/salty stuff. I like pickles, so I get jars of Claussen dill pickle slices, and bread and butter slices, and eat a few of those to satisfy the crunchy/salty and crunchy/sweet urges respectively. I try to portion out the snack foods around here -- maybe have your husband hide little "sweet caches" for you each day, so that you can have *some* but with a portion-controlled amount built in? Another thing that I was doing for a while, but haven't been lately, is V-8 juice -- I get the low sodium kind -- it's got some nice vitamins, tastes good, contains fiber, and can fill you up a bit. V-8 is actually pretty good whether you're in the 'not eating' or the 'oh-yeah-eating' phase. If you're not eating, it gives you something good in your system, and if you're eating a bit much, it helps fill you up without a lot of calories.

I've been reading lately about how artificial sweeteners interfere with normal eating patterns, so avoiding those is also good.

When I'm in the hysterically-obsessed with not eating mode, I sometimes find that certain things will "prime the pump" -- if I eat a little bit of the right thing, it will bring me out enough to eat real food. You could try to find out if something like that helps you, too. And, of course, being aware of what your body is telling you so that you can recognize hunger is another point. Harder for some than for others, but I suspect that's less of a problem for you.

I kinda remember you saying your doctor was a little leary of the Nardil, so you didn't want to risk having him pull it? You might try to think of a way to talk to him about blood sugar variances, though, and whether testing it might show if there's a biological reason for those carb cravings. If you could do that, it might help you even it out.

Best luck to you. You know I empathize with how hard the weight gain can be emotionally... Sorry you're going through this.


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poster:Racer thread:368952
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