Posted by Mochakitty on June 16, 2004, at 10:36:34
The only phsyical activity I do except for mowing the front lawn for 1/2 hour every 2 weeks, is hitting about 900-1200 golf balls at the driving range 3-4 tmes a week. Not sure if the frustration makes things worse. Got new cavity back game improvement irons, and i can finally hit a 3 iron. Not sure if that is lifting my spirits. Too much pressure on myself to hit the ball perfectly everytime. Even when I hit a great drive, voices in my head, both from arseholes from my past who were constantly criticizing me and from myself, are not enabling me from enjoying myself. Criticisms from 20 years ago still are lashing at my psyche even at the driving range. Now that my dad has stomach cancer, not sure if I will ever go again. I can't even make small talk with anyone without feeling like a complete loser moron. I hate myself.
poster:Mochakitty
thread:357212
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/health/20040523/msgs/357212.html