Posted by ClearSkies on March 6, 2006, at 19:06:45
In reply to Hoping to grieve less, posted by Tanzanite on March 6, 2006, at 14:37:22
Hello, Tanzanite.
I don't know your age. Your post resonates very strongly with me. When I was around 28 or so, I started to feel that I was a spectator in life. Not even a spectator to *my* life, but to life in general.
I don't recall feeling sad or angry about it, it was something that I recognized and accepted at the time. It wasn't for another 10 years until I was able to grieve for this part of myself and this time of my life. That if I'd had a better sense of self perhaps I could have engaged more in my day to day life, maybe gone to college, maybe had a career of some kind.
I guess it was grieving for the could-have-beens, or the if-onlys. And here I am, another 5 years on, and I'm unemployed (I consider myself unemployable, actually); still without a career and education, and not really regretting that I didn't do that. because I don't think I could have pulled it off given my current state of mental and emotional health.Anyway... I wanted you to know your words have been read and that I can relate to them.
ClearSkies
poster:ClearSkies
thread:616488
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20051017/msgs/616794.html