Posted by katia on August 7, 2004, at 13:47:29
In reply to Re: Speaking with Rock » katia, posted by BarbaraCat on August 7, 2004, at 1:42:16
>This was real and I'm grateful that things were cleared up and copacetic. He simply needed acknowledgement and to consider his feelings in the matter. That was only one small part of his great soul - but it still needed to be heard. Even the Vet and the assistant were amazed at his tenacity - little heart just kept on beating.
**I'm sure it was real too Barbara. It's always nice to get validation for it though. I'm glad that it feels complete. That is important.
**The other day I was sitting on the loveseat outside (the previous owner of this house left it and I chucked it out back. Rock LOVED it so it stays). We used to sit on that together and it was his favorite thing in the world and it wasn't so bad for me either! I was sitting there and felt him there too and began cooing and petting the air as tho' he was there. Then Cathy came over two days ago and I asked her if Rock has contacted me in a physical way. She said that he was telling her that I knew he was with me on the loveseat that day! I honestly wasn't really sure because I'm not as aware as Cathy, but I felt his energy and now I know that that is real. And how could she have known that I was petting the air on the loveseat a week earilier!? He's still here, but not physically and without his demons now. They are gone.
> The experience made me consider alot more deeply the issues that could arise around a death - a living being may not feel 'ready' to go, maybe unfinished business, attachments, violent conditions around the passing, whatever, and strong reactive energies may emerge.
**ME TOO! I'm very curious about this now. So curious I want to stay awake and not fall back to sleep. I mean this metaphorically! Even though the events leading up to Rock's death were violent, he died peacefully in my loving arms. Cathy said that he really really needed that (I think on a soul-like evolutionary healing level). I also had no idea that by lighting the candles and placing his alter in honor of his life could help him still heal in the spirit world. I can't really grasp it totally that he is with me still and everywhere as well. On one level i can, but don't really understand on my ego/personality level. I would love to be so connected like Cathy.
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> I can almost see a ritual of Atonement for loved ones who have died, simply acknowledging regret for having caused any harm and asking forgiveness. A good way to clear the psychic air. I don't think there is such a ritual, maybe the closest is Mexico's Dia de Muerta but that's not really a formal seeking of amends. I'm sure Cathy will be able to assist, but any thoughts on this are welcome.**again, I think by just making a physical place for honoring their life is a lot. Cathy suggested that I sit down kindof in meditative state and ask Rock any questions and just let words flow through me onto paper. As a way of connecting with him. I just hope he's not lonely. Maybe I could ask him that.
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> How did you post your pictures of Rock? I'd love to post some pictures of my guy just to share who he was and his wonderful energy.**I guess I wasn't very clear about this. Those were pictures of Rock when he was like 3 years old in his blue ribbon days. I found them on the web through the Bull Rock Kennels where he was bred. He was seven when he met me and when he died he had just turned 8 on May 27th. I didn't know him before his "damage" as he calls it. I'm not quite sure how to post pictures as that was just a link to their website.
> **Katia, I don't know about you, but my mood disorder seems so irrelevant in the face of what's gone on. Things have shifted, like I'm seeing out of new eyes. I still feel shakey and prone to intense emotions, but they pass. I'm looking at it like 'well, this is high sensitivity living and it's a gift, so learn to deal with it'. It's hard enough living with one foot behind the Veil at the best of times. I'm so done with letting my weird neuro-chemical soup throw unnecessary obstacles in the way and muddy my path. I'm sick of living an unlived life.** to me, you are very much alive Barbara and living. Maybe not the way you think it "should" be.
**I agree. grief always wakes me up and puts me in touch with Spirit more and that is actually very healing. It is so tricky this being human with a dx and meds and working it all out. Meds are good, and just a part of what keeps me in a balance.>
> I don't know where any of this is going, but I'm willing to stay open and alert until the path becomes more clear. Praying to the Great Spirit for guidance is the only thing I know how to do at this point, but at least I know that much. You know what I'm saying? Bipolar depressions have robbed me of my life energy far too long and it's time to send that toxic stuff off into the Light where it can do no more harm. But no matter what, no way I'm going off my lithium. - Barbara
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**I know EXACTLY what you're saying. Rock has a song by Sarah McLachlan track no. 7 "Answer" on her latest. It is his song. "Cast me gently into morning for the night has been unkind. Take me to a place so holy that I can wash this from my mind, the memory of choosing not to fight...when the stars have all burned out you'll still be burning so bright. Cast me gently into morning for the night has been unkind".
He loves that he has a song and it really was written for him in my mind. It's my song to him.
Katia
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poster:katia
thread:371461
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20040220/msgs/375086.html