Posted by Dena on September 5, 2003, at 10:57:09
In reply to My friend is dead!, posted by Sebastian on September 4, 2003, at 22:28:29
Dear Sebastian -
I'm so sorry to hear how you've suffered after the loss of your friend. You're obviously in so much pain - grief doesn't have a time table... it does heal if it's allowed to be expressed - deeply & thoroughly - but it sounds as if you had to shove your grief down, since no one would allow you to share it with them.
That's so sad! My best (uneducated) guess is that you still need to talk about it, even in detail, to someone who will listen & allow you to vent.
Could you trust us enough to share it with us on this board? I'd listen. Could you share what happened to your friend, how it affected you then, & how it's still affecting you?
You won't be judged or misunderstood here.
I know how it feels when you need so badly to express your grief (& anger & confusion & fear...) & others just don't have the patience (or willingness, or time, or empathy) to just listen. To just be with you while you're feeling so vulnerable. To help you understand the pain (& the sense of guilt?) that feel so overwhelming.
I know how it feels when others just expect you to "get over it" & get back to normal life. But what's "normal" anymore? Grief changes you - so much so that you don't even know how to just go through the motions of life anymore. How can life just "go on" when when the loss has so altered you?
I know how it feels when others avoid you like the plague because they don't want you to bring up the grief (or the situation which caused it).
I know that alone feeling. So alone. So needing for someone to just be there, to listen, to empathize, to help you bring closure to the grief.
I pray that you'll find that healing, Sebastian, that closure.
If we, or I, can help you by listening, feel free to say anything you need to.
I wish you peace.
Shalom, Dena
poster:Dena
thread:257122
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20030903/msgs/257264.html