Posted by rjlockhart37 on February 16, 2023, at 18:17:27
In reply to Re: my story, posted by rjlockhart37 on February 9, 2023, at 19:27:09
I grew up in Dallas, i lived with my grandmother, in a house the was built in the 1920s. It was old, with old technology. I grew up with going to school around the corner, my grandma was always cook while my mother was at work. I would stay around the house, got on the roof, the swing, i did things by myself, i did have some friends but i mainly did things around the house with my grandmother. It was a good time, even though the house was built in the 20s and was worn down, it was a happy time. I moved out into a private school, my dad wanted me out of the inter city, in bad part of Dallas, and i lived and went to school with new people, had a good time, played football, but sucked at it, in the 8th grade i would always go back to my grandmas house on the weekends, we called it the green house because it was green all over, i would stay there, i would study the house's old technology, it had a central furnace, an attic fan, no air conditioning, old shower system from the 1930s, that was never changed, yes, all the old pipes were there, and they still worked. I would look at pictures of my grandmother when she was a teenager in the 30s with her friends. At night i would lay on the couch, to go to sleep, she would come in and tell me stories about her life, for hours. I actually was very interested in hearing it, about her marriage in the 50s, the news events that happened in the 1950s, she told me about Marylyn Monroe's death, that it hit the headlines in the newspapers, she said it was a big talk, everyone was talking about it when she died. She told me about Martin Luther King death, that it hit the headlines, the news and everyone was shocked and talking about it. She told me about the watergate scandal with richard nixon, and alot events in the 70s. I listened for hours, knowing that she had went through all that news and events. Anyways, the house was old and i would find family pictures, so i did a project, i cleaned her entire house one day, i moved the tv in the half living room in the main living room, and put it on a stand with the VCR and i put the pictures i found, all around the house. I wanted to relive her house like it once was, because she was old and kinda let it fall down. I did project for days, to restore her house, like pictures, clearing clutter and putting the tv in the main living room to watch. I did it, and we watched movies every night, we would go to blockbuster and rent movies, i loved scary movies, she watched anything even if she didn't like it. And made bunk beds on the floor, like you would at a slumber party. I tried best i could to restore, the house's main things, like cleaning clutter, remodeling furniture, putting pictures of family on furniture. I remember those fun days, of going out on the street, with school friends, playing and hanging out around the house on hot days, drinking lemonade, and sitting in the backyard talking. Yes the house was old, it did not have air conditioning system, only window units, so i had to learn to deal with being hot. But we would sit backyard, and have a good time.
I moved to Keller in 2001, i went to high school, it was a bittersweet experience, if you read the post above it will explain what happened. Even though at the time, in high school, it was really hurtful or dreadful to go. But now, it's like a longing to ago back, and finish graduation with friends. After high school, yes it was a up and down wave, i went through alot of traumatic times, that permanently changed, and hurt bad, that i have to put it away, hope to never think of it. But during this wave of anguish, i searched for something higher to get help. There was no resource that could be there, i finally searched for supernatural happenings, at first i looked through spirit world, angels, forces of universe, i started defiantly seeing coincidences happening, don't want to write it, because it would seem insane, but then bad events started happen. I then just directly went to God, and jesus christ, and studied his words in the bible, and reading about the holy spirit. That's what has led me to now, it was those bad events that happened that forced me or urged me to go to jesus, then realized have to save other people.
So, i once wanted i wanted to go into an office building like in new york, with a good job, which i thought i would have when i was 19. It crashed, so ... what's left is moving out of the current place, the resources are low and its hard to explain, because it anyone would say just move out, or get a good job, i went to school, i did well, but i couldn't remember the information after. I couldn't hold a job in IT, even though i had good grades, my memory does not work well, i would be fired or let go. People have reached out to me, giving opportunities, its like there's things that a preventing me from doing it. And when my mother passes away, ill have to find some resource. I've gotten offers from friends, the US army, some companies through job search website, political campaigns and politician to join movements. I wish they knew situation, i don't want to write it, because it would seem gibberish and mumble jumble rubble.
but .. saving people is the only thing that matters because life has an expiration date, this world will disappear after death, and after it happens you can't go back. So, have kindness and empathy, even though someone who has done you wrong, and you feel like .. eliminating them, forgive, let it go, because if you keep unforgiveness in your heart, it will go black, yes it will, it will make you bitter. You have to keep corruption out of your heart, or blackness will spread. And even losing things, pray to god, be faithful in him during suffering. Losing everything, or just having suffering in general, go to god, and have faith in him, even when nothing changes or it gets worse. To search for God and find salvation, to be saved. Pray to him for salvation to be protected, and saved, when you pray. I'm not a preacher or a priest, im a runt, jesus said preach the word, that's what im trying to do. From what i've seen, god does not work in the way of man, no, and it can seem prayer is useless at times, but god has higher answer even though its not gonna be what we want. He works in mysterious ways, and sometimes gives us what we ask for, when we least expect it. You have have faith, when you pray, you tell him your intention, pray in humbleness, and let go of bitterness, and ask, then have faith. Suffering times, keep having faith. To find salvation, and redemption. Keep the heart clean, never let corruption get into your soul, it will make you of the world, the flesh desire called wrath, and stone cold. Don't let this happen, have goodness, hope in your heart. Know God works mysterious ways, but he will answer your prayer, you have to devote to him, prayer, submit and search after God, forget the vanity of the world, search for him. People in church say quick prayers, and there just nothing but words. Faith, and search after God, his goodness and mercy. I've learned some of this, through bad events and forced to go to God, for help. Find eternal things, forget the vanity of this world, find God, trust in him, search. Your valuable and don't forget it. End of log
"There comes a time in your life where you have to choose to turn the page, write another book, or simply close it"
-Shannon L Alder
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1121736
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20210905/msgs/1121803.html