Posted by bleauberry on August 14, 2011, at 16:02:25
It's hard to have any kind of faith when at the bottom of a dark dungeon. I curse God, accuse Him of being cruel, and think the whole Jesus story is bogus.
When I'm feeling better, those feelings are totally gone. On rare good days I am on my knees praising Him with thanks. I think that's wrong, maybe I should be thanking Him everyday no matter what? It's hard isn't it, when everything seems to suck.
I am totally convinced there are powerful spiritual battles going on all around us. We can't see them any more than we can see magnetism, electricity, or ultra violet wavelengths. But we can sure feel them.
The evil ones win some battles along the way. But they will lose the war. God wins, no doubt about it.
I just wish He could wave a magic wand now and then for us all. Actually, He can. Why He doesn't, I don't know. Clearly His ways are far beyond our comprehension. I guess if we had clear proof, it wouldn't be faith would it? His Kingdom is to be inhabited by those who had faith, even in the face of lack of proof.
I've never seen a miracle healing. I've heard of them. I've read of some. They probably happen, but I've never seen it in anyone in my circles. I would like to.
God has been the most help to me in keeping His word about wisdom....He says if we ask for it He gives it. Maybe that way He doesn't directly conquer our enemies, but gives us what we need to do it ourselves? Enemies that otherwise would defeat us badly. In terms of psychiatry, maybe that means a "chance" happening of hearing about or seeing "the" supplement meant for us, or a strange "coincidence" that plays a major role in our healing, or something, or maybe just an inner unexplainable instinct to just "know" something. Or, sigh, maybe the result of a lot of failed trials and errors. :-)
Does anyone know if Adam will be in Heaven? (kidding) Because if he is I'm going to ask him what the hell were you thinking and then I'm going to kick his *ss (kidding). :-)
You know how people habitually always say, "have a good day". I find that to be an insult when said to a psych patient. That's like telling a street person, "make a million bucks today", and not even meaning it, just words of habit. A much better line is, "I hope you have a smooth day." I use that one all the time with everyone. They remember it and they know I meant it.
I was thinking of God when I wrote this song and made this video...it actually starts off on the tail end of one song but then quickly leads into the song I'm talking about. That's me on the guitar. This is the kind of song where you can feel like closing your eyes and raising your hands in the air.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4CEL3gQ9vU
Author....God, performer....me.
poster:bleauberry
thread:993795
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20101230/msgs/993795.html