Posted by rayww on June 29, 2006, at 9:54:27
In reply to Re: Having trouble meditating *suicide trigger* » rayww, posted by llrrrpp on June 28, 2006, at 20:39:51
It seems your main issue (from reading your post) is meditation. Perhaps if you could meditate back to your first recollection of feeling the emotion of love, and then stay there for a few moments till you are able to retain that memory, as an identifying moment, THEN you might be able to face your present realities, using your "love yourself image" to help ease the pain.
In your meditation it is important to identify the emotion you are feeling from the situation you are in, and then go inside that emotion, not the situation, and remain inside the emotion pressing on it till it eases, and while inside it using your "love yourself image" or else (eyes closed) the light inside your eyes at the same time. Once that emotion eases, go back in time to your earliest recollection of the same emotion and repeat.
This is the basis of whole hearted healing, and it is something we should all learn how to do in kindergarden. If you can keep tracing back your negative emotion (through meditation) till you are at the root of it, like a stack of dishes, you remove the one at the bottom and the whole pile crumbles, leaving you free of the emotional garbage that interferes with your present realities.
I don't know what your present reality is, but I can guarantee there are emotions attached to it that may be intensified because of old emotional ruts or patterns you have developed. The personal process of WHH is to disolve those ruts and free you up to deal with the present as just the present. And to distinguish between a situation and the emotion it charges.
Usually we find once we can unpack the emotional garbage from our past, our present realities become more manageable. I don't know if you are in a state where this might help, but I know it relieves a lot of pressure, it does take time to work through at the beginning (up to 2 or 3 hours) but once you get the hang of it, can happen quickly.
Pay attention to the sensations or feelings you have while doing this because you will be able to feel your body purge these waves of negative emotion, such as fear, anger, guilt and shame.
You mentioned guilt. Perhaps that would be a good place to start, and by doing that you go inside the emotion of guilt that you are feeling at the present, and then go back to your earliest recollection of when you felt that same feeling, stay there as I described earlier, till it disolves, and then go back further and repeat. Remember to stay inside the emotion, not the situation which caused it, and remain, using the love yourself image or focus on the light inside your eyes, to lift.
It is important to find a quiet place where you will be undisturbed (as in any meditation) close your eyes, connect with yourself, as in place your hand over your heart, lay back and relax till you feel yourself floating, and motionless till you can't feel your chair. Then begin.
The reason I shared this with you is because you understand meditation, and I thought you would be able to relate to this. It is such a simple procedure, and may be used along with your other treatments, either on your own, or with a professional by your side. My professional called this procedure the missing link to her professional training. She discovered it during a seminar by Grant McFetridge. http://www.emofree.com/cousins/mcfetridge.htm
Please let me know how this goes.
rayww
poster:rayww
thread:660755
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20060614/msgs/662529.html