Posted by jon90211 on March 16, 2006, at 11:02:21
In reply to Re: Asking for prayers again (still) » Jon90211, posted by Spector on March 15, 2006, at 0:37:10
Nomi, I will keep praying and asking God to reveal Himself to you. I do not understand why you are suffering so much. It makes no sense.
Suffering is very hard to understand, especially depression and anxiety. I think that hope is the most important thing for the human spirit and that is the very thing lacking when one experiences depression and anxiety. It seems that we as humans can endure an incredible amount of suffering as long as we have hope. I think of Victor Frankl's book "Man's Search for meaning". Have you read it?
I can't even begin to comprehend what you're experiencing. I have been debilitated by despair, depression and anxiety, but not as severe as what you are going through. Right now I am at my mom's house in SC trying to recover the strength to get back to my life in Los Angeles. I will be 35 next week and feel as if my life has derailed by this crap (actually, I was on prozac for about 5 years and strongly suspect that it has contributed to my "condition")
I understand when you say that you desperately want to give back to your family. Gosh, I know that feeling. I love my family and have felt that all I was capable of doing is taking. It sucks because I have always thought of myself as someone with a lot to give. From your postings, it sounds like you are a person with an enormous capacity to love.
I'm not sure your thoughts on Jesus and I hope I'm not offending you by referencing him, but I have learned a great deal about the meaning of suffering from him. As I mentioned before, I think satan targets those who are a threat to him. Jesus is a very good example. satan went after Jesus. But because of Jesus' faith and hope in God, he defeated the works of darkness for good. And there's the hope right there - no matter what the devil throws our way, we can know that God is much more powerful and will work everything out for our ultimate benefit. Jesus trusted God so much that he willingly died a horrendous death for reasons I think he didn't fully understand at the time (much like us when we suffer). But he trusted and God resurrected His Spirit through us who believe... believe in what He says no matter what it looks like at the time. When Jesus was dying on the cross, it looked bad - even his closest friends had deserted him to die the death of a criminal. This man who loved greater than anyone.
Anyway, that's a little bit of my perspective on why we suffer. I don't know if it helps, but I guess the bottom line is that God will use our suffering for good. Like David's attititude in Psalm 119:71 "The suffering you sent to me was good for it taught me to pay attention to your principles" Do you ever read the pslams? I have found a lot of comfort in them. David seemed to have suffered a great deal from depair and depression.
You will come out of this, Nomi... and with a testimony that will change lives. I believe that!!! Just keep reminding yourself that God is good and He will come through for you.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
I will be praying for you today.
-Jonathan
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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20051105/msgs/620918.html