Posted by kerria on September 11, 2005, at 20:00:39
Today i went to church with my H . we sat near the back. There are large overhead screens because we have a big church- and usually friends and some of our family , missionaries on a team in another country are shown. The lights dimmed and we looked at the screen listening to a song i didn't hear before but couldn't tell what the words were.
The photos were of buildings and smoke and people dying and firefighters helping. So many hurt and firemen putting up the flag. Then the song was about the flag and America overcoming but the pictures were the opposite. tears.
tears.
i didn't expect to see it at church today. There was no warning. The church bulliten was the same as always, with the waterfall. Everything was so upsetting.Then the pastor that i love gave a message about how we should not speak in 'forked tongues' - like two different ways to different people. To be One, but God is three Persons in one.
Then how God makes us different than we were before, that Daniel was a different person after the lions den, because when we're in distress we are changed to a different person by God. He enlarges us. The woman was a different person after touching His garment.
tears. i have DID. i'm always different, i always speak in different voices. Tears. i don't understand why God changes us and we're different people because of distress to endure it or when we just get changed because of distress, then we;re different but the parts aren't all good. How do you stop the bad ones? This week i want God to heal me- i was sick and almost died, another chance i have. i don't want to be doubleminded anymore but i can't understand how i can stop it.
and i'm so way different, so ashamed to get so upset - but how could i listen to a song how America overcomes and see in all the pictures the terrible smoke and buildings that says the opposite?
Tears,
kerria i never fit in 9/11 is always too hard to see but i want to so much. God will make me different again?
poster:kerria
thread:553899
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20050811/msgs/553899.html