Posted by Spector on June 9, 2005, at 1:19:54
Hello. A couple of months ago I asked for prayers from any and all here and received some beautiful ones which I still read. I am here again asking again. My situation has become even more excruciating. I am barely managing minute to minute and spend much of my time begging to be taken off this earth. I spend more time beging to be allowed to return to life, the point is just that the pain and terror have increased which naturally brings more fantasies of death. (Have never attempted or even planned, though.)
The description of my situation is still accurate so I will more or less copy it from my last request:
I am in the 30th month (now 32nd) of a severe depression with crippling anxiety. It has virtually incapacitated me and forced me to leave my home, my dear husband and my life as a painter to move back into my mother's home for full time care.
This depression was triggered by being prescribed a stimulant by a psychiatrist who believed I had mild symptoms of ADD. The drug immediately triggered a relapse into manic depression that had been in complete remmission for almost 14 years. The hypomania lasted five months despite discontinuing the drug -- Adderall -- and was quickly followed in Nov. 2002 by the unspeakable depression that I am still in today.
I cannot list every treatment we have tried. But there have been many many drugs plus other conventional treatments (ECT, CBT), as well as a large number of alternative treatments which I did very intensely.
Nothing has helped. And some treatments and some people have hurt. Badly.
I am now relying on time, Nature, God and prayer. I want to live SO badly. I want to return to my home and my husband and my painting more than anything ever ever ever. But the continued wait and ever increasing terror are nearly destroying me. I ask for release from this torture very soon. And I would like to ask anyone out there who can to help pray for that with me. My first name is Nomi. Thank you. Thank you.
Nomi
poster:Spector
thread:509933
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20050510/msgs/509933.html