Posted by Dena on September 9, 2003, at 14:56:52
In reply to Thanks be to Good/God!, posted by Temmie on September 9, 2003, at 9:43:27
Dear Temmie -
I've missed you! So glad you're back!
Your last post touched me...you wrote: "I feel too unworthy to open to Jesus Christ.
Do you know what I mean?
Not that Jesus wouldn’t hear me, help me, etc. etc. etc. And not that He doesn’t know I love Him with all my heart .... It’s just that I feel too unworthy, and *that’s* what’s going to get in the way, or block my ability to feel His love and blessings."
Yes, Temmie, I know what you mean. I don't feel worthy either. But we're not! That's the whole wonderfulness about God's grace - He loves us not because we're worthy - He loves us in spite of it! He sees our hearts - he sees every secret & nasty little judgmental, critical, hateful, unforgiving, bitter thought we've ever had - He's not fooled by our outsides - He knows us better than we'll ever know ourselves. He loves us because He IS love - He just can't help Himself. So, Jesus died for you, not because you're worthy of such a sacrifice, but because He loves you so much, He was willing to make that sacrifice for you, even knowing that you had the free will to reject Him & spit in his face (I'm not saying you've done that, but that's the choice we all have).
He doesn't expect you to feel worthy before you come to Him. That's like cleaning up the house before the maid comes over! It's His job to clean you up, as you allow Him to. His job is to lovingly show you the things which need changing (attitudes, habits, behavoirs). Our job is to repent (say we're sorry for falling short of how He designed us to be), & allow Him to do the changing. He'll never do such a thing without our permission. We always have free choice - even when it ends up hurting us. Jesus loves you just as you are - but He loves you too much to let you stay that way.
He's not the one telling you that you're unworthy, Temmie. There is an enemy of God, & his plan is to destroy you (not just you, but you understand). He's the one who whispers the nasty negative lies in your mind (& he usually disguises his voice so that he sounds just like you, or else like God - so that you think God is displeased with you).
We're especially vulnerable to his lies if we had an earthly father who made us feel unworthy or just not good enough. But God wants to heal all of that & to let you know that He can be your perfect Heavenly Father.
On one hand, we recognize that we're not worthy of God's love & acceptance (like in the beautiful prayer you quoted: “Lord I am unworthy to come under your roof .... Speak but the word and my soul shall be healed."). On the other hand, we recognize that, through Jesus, He wants to accept us anyway, if we accept Him. If we've allowed Jesus to become our savior & lord, we become completely forgiven & clean - white as snow. So then, when God looks at us, He only sees the perfection of Jesus, not our flaws & wrongdoings.
About feeling His love & blessing... don't let feelings or the lack of them dictate truth to you. God DOES love you; Jesus DID die for you; He DOES forgive you when you ask. Truth is truth no matter what our flighty emotions tell us. Most of the time, I don't FEEL God's presence or His love. But I can choose to believe it's true, & live by faith on that truth. There are those wonderous days when I DO sense His presence, when I AM aware of his love for me - I can sense this especially when I choose to tune in to Him (I think of it like adjusting my dial to pick up His frequency. He's always talking - usually we're just not listening. He speaks in a still, small voice, which we can easily ignore if we want to.)
What helps me is to go outside at a sunrise or a sunset, & marvel at how beautiful He's made His creation. When I choose to thank Him, to show Him gratitude for all He is & all He's done, then it's as if the walls fall down & I feel closer to Him. He's right there, waiting for us to invite Him in to our hearts. But He'll never force His way in.
If you want to read further:
"http://www.letterstofriends.com/jesus.html";If you want to chat off-board: brehmites@aol.com
Shalom & Blessings -
Dena
poster:Dena
thread:258341
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20030908/msgs/258454.html