Posted by rayww on February 6, 2003, at 14:40:40
In reply to Sad, posted by bozeman on February 4, 2003, at 0:03:09
You describe this well, the guilt, the low esteem, and the feeling of accountability that comes in the territory of the disorders.
I'm sure God wants you to be well.
When you are in your reality and you miss church do you feel as guilty?
I deal with things different when in my psychosis than in my reality. Certain pressures would push me over the edge in my psychosis, but in my reality I would shake them off.
Do people recognize their psychotic self, and realize it is not their reality self? When you ask the question "who am I?" Do you think you are the psychotic version of yourself or the other one? We behave differently in both don't we? We view the world through a different lens, and react to things in their magnification, that we would normally not respond to.
However, having thus stated, I cannot deny how real the magnification of the spiritual side of the disorder feels. Or, the anger side, or the love side.
At the present time (not boastfully) I feel healed enough to recognize the psychotic imposer for "what it" is, and I think she is not me.
poster:rayww
thread:1641
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20021227/msgs/1649.html