Posted by Dr. Bob on November 10, 2002, at 15:23:50
[Posted by rayww on November 10, 2002, at 11:26:14]
> When a meltdown becomes regular, like every day around 4:00, it should be reason to seek help. I thought I was melting down because of me. I didn't know I was bipolar. I did all in my power to fix it, but nothing seemed to stand. I decided to have a hysterectomy thinking it would cut away all my problems. I came out of the anisthetic feeling worse, as though I was not quite there. I couldn't keep up to my former schedule. I lost my ability to articulate and sometimes had difficulty even getting the sentence out.
>
> Then, suddenly one day I reacted to something that didn't warrant it. I did some pretty far out things, spent some money, started "releasing" tons of emotion dating way back to the death of my father. I went for spiritual and emotional counselling and was diagnosed Bipolar by my pdoc. The surgery and anesthetic may have brought it out.
>
> I tried Lithium but hated it, and my husband became worried about my driving, so I went on epival and topomax. I felt shut down. I hated my head. I went to my pdoc every couple of weeks as long as I was on it, and finally stopped after a year. I became determined to keep myself drug free and look for other solutions.
>
> I felt a bipolar reaction coming on again a few months ago. I knew I had an extremely high-pressure quarter to get through and became concerned. I had heard about Truehope EMPower, so decided to give it a try. Within one week I began to feel aware of me for who I am. I mean for who I really am, the true me. Since that time (3 months now) I feel well. I don't get the meltdown feeling. I am not driven to emotional outbursts over email. I no longer feel as though I need "one more talk" with anyone. BTW, I learned long ago that there is no such thing as "one more talk", as each will lead itself to another and another. High pressure days don't push me over the edge. I still don't like several in a row though.
>
> I am one who naturally loves to think and reason and write (and ramble). I am known for my creative ideas and do well serving on committees. I have difficulty organizing, but that may be because I am cross-brained. I spend a lot of time organizing on paper and write books, or dream that some day my life's work will end up in a book of some sort. I start a lot of projects that seem to never end, but I like it that way.
>
> I believe that the mental disorders are gifts with power, but in order to make use of the power they have to be harnessed and controlled. My goal is to educate myself concerning the disorders, to protect my lifestyle and health, to find those solutions best for me, and to harness and use the power in the gift. I believe if we use our talents and gifts to help and serve one another, and if we lean on God with trust, looking to Him as our "father figure", that He will give us all the support we need at our moments of greatest need. My goal to prove that to be true is working. He did step in with support when I needed it. He did empower me to correct errors and even in small insignificant ways. But, not without a price. I have to "try" hard to do his will and respect his rules of conduct. I have to reach out with love and support to others. I have to stay away from things that may bring harm. It isn't easy, but it's working.
>
> I challenge all of you to try this for one day, or a week and see if it makes a difference.
>
> If we could just remember the three elements to emotional well-being: mental, physical, and spiritual, and then exercise with sweat in all three areas, I think we would be more likely to recognize our own solutions to our own problems.
>
> When I tried it, I said to God, "OK, I will look to you as my father figure, but this is what I expect in return:..............and I listed all the areas that I needed support in, including my hair. Funny that I just learned a new hair cut that I can do myself, and like a lot. Strange that I feel enough support that I have not needed any other father figure--(father figure is when your friend, doctor, counsellor, clergy leader, etc becomes more in your head than just a friend, doctor, counsellor, clergy leader) It's when every living thought centers around them and your focus becomes so narrow that in a crowd you only see that one person. It's bad. You lean on them and they become like a "Savior" to you. Not to say people can't be that for one another to a point, but the extreme is unhealthy.
>
> I have been reading here for a few weeks. Since most of the posts have to do with meds, I don't feel qualified to respond. I see topics rather than people on these boards because I haven't connected to anyone yet. I'm not saying I want to connect. I actually feel more comfortable writing to topics rather than people.
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:1212
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20021001/msgs/1212.html