Posted by Dinah on July 21, 2002, at 19:52:57
I have trouble sometimes seeing God's grace at work in my life. Not that I don't have an almost embarassing amount of things in my life to be thankful for, but I have trouble seeing God's hand in that since it somehow implies that God is responsible for the lack of marvelous things in the lives of others. And that doesn't fit in well with my concept of God.
But one area where I have consistently seen evidence of God's grace in my life is the weekly sermon, or sometimes the Sunday School lesson. Many times, certainly more often than can be accounted for by circumstance, the sermon is exactly what I needed to hear at exactly that time in my life.
Now Beardy, I can guess that you are thinking I am once again believing myself to be the center of the universe. But no, I do not believe that God guides the pastor in preparing a sermon that will apply to me. :) But I do strongly suspect that God prepares me to hear the sermon. That certain events or things I have heard during the week stick in my mind through the grace of God and pop up in my mind during the sermon in a way that ties what is in the sermon to what is in my life. And no, I don't think events in my life happen so that I will listen to the sermon either. What I am saying is that God's grace allows me to tie the two things together. Oh, I'm not explaining this well.
So getting back to the story, and away from the twists and turns of my thinking process, yesterday you said the following to me:
"I'm not trying to make you mad. I just want you to realize that you can't make peace without walking into the conflict and that, rather than becoming a casualty, you are becoming a veteran."
Now I must confess that I was irritated by that statement. I may feel compelled to enter the fray by a strong sense of right and wrong, but I do feel victimized by the need to do so. I know that I cry and shake over the keyboard sometimes, not wanting to type a single word. And I have experienced sitting in my therapist's office after one of these all out board battles, shuddering, sobbing, rocking, and hugging myself (and on one memorable occasion a baby doll).
But your words stuck in my mind nevertheless, even if it was only in a sense of irritation. And today's sermon was about seeds and growth, and the overriding message was that the most worthwhile things in life are the most difficult. And that only by doing things that are difficult do we grow. I'm not as good at this as my pastor is. :) But it made me think of your statement. And it made me at least consider whether there was truth in what you said. That I am becoming a veteran, that I am not a victim. I haven't decided quite yet (grin) but I am considering it at least. After the sermon, I thanked my pastor. And it seems only fitting that I thank you as well.
Thank you Beardy.
poster:Dinah
thread:611
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20020715/msgs/611.html